Thursday, July 5, 2012

I Can Feel It Cumming In The Air Tonight

Thimble-sized Thursday to you all, my little gingersnaps. Did you have a nice 4th of July? (those of you who celebrate it?) We went to Long Beach to watch the fireworks being launched from the Queen Mary in the harbor. It was fantastic! What wasn't fantastic was though the fireworks show ended about 9:30pm, we didn't get home until 12:30am due to traffic. So now I'm blogging for you.


In the news, there is an "Air Sex" World Championship. Kind of like playing Air Guitar, but not really. There are only two rules on stage. The "climax" must be simulated (i.e. not real) and there must always be another imaginary partner on stage during your routine.

Really? How do they know the imaginary person is there at all times? Maybe the imaginary person wants to take a break or just watch. How will the judges know then? The only other thing you need is a moniker and music.

Three judges will critique the show based on foreplay, intercourse, and sexual energy.

The shows founder predicts that Air Sex will be an Olympic Sport one day. I wonder if their medals would be made of rubber. Or silicone.


Air Sex World Championships: Like Air Guitar, But So Hot Howard Stern Can't Stand It


Think you're a real Casanova between the sheets? Prove it. By yourself. On stage. In front of your peers.

The Air Sex World Championships are back, baby, and the competition is stiff.

Picture your drunk buddy taking the stage to rock out on her cringe-worthy air guitar rendition of "Welcome To The Jungle" -- except instead of jamming on invisible strings, she shows the world what reverse cowgirl, an imaginary partner and Guns N' Roses truly have in common.

That's the gist of the sport, which is so naughty it was featured on America's Got Talent in June, and even sex-crazed Howard Stern couldn't handle its raw power.

The Huffington Post went to Drom in New York City on Thursday to expose the sexy -- and often comedic -- event.

There are only two rules on stage at the Air Sex World Championships: all climaxes must be simulated, and there must always be another (imaginary) person on stage during your routine. Aside from that, all contestents need is a moniker and a song. Three judges critique the show based on foreplay, intercourse and sexual energy.

Thursday night's show featuring air sex legends with stage names like "Jam Out With Your Clam Out," "Magic Michelle" and "Tootenanny" promised plenty of titillation.

"Air sex will be an Olympic sport one day," the show's founder and MC, Chris Trew, told The Huffington Post. "We're giving these people a platform to [expletive] to glory. They're getting a stab at stardom."

It certainly seemed that way. A packed bar cheered on the solo love makers as they motorboated, thrust and smacked their way to the top. Tootenanny, sporting a tank top and tighty-greenies, was a clear favorite with the audience. He simulated drinking a six pack, having an argument with his significant other and awkwardly tensing up his body in true redneck fashion.

Tootenanny, real name Adam Wilson, wasn't even on the ticket to perform. But he signed up at the last minute, came around from behind and pulled out a win.

"[My choreography] was the first thing that came to mind," the 32-year-old from Louisiana said. "Somehow parental abuse, incest and beer worked for me."

Judges -- including comedian and New Orleans native Sophie Johnson -- kept the excitement throbbing with criticisms like, "I've always wanted to [expletive] a guy wearing a fanny pack, so you did well."

"Judging is fun for me because, my entire life, I was the daughter of a pair of perverted adults -- it's all funny to me," Johnson said.

She couldn't help but notice New Yorkers' prowess with their imaginary bump and grind.

"People in New York are very fast at everything -- they walk fast, talk fast, and they're always trying to get to the next rung," she said. "But they surprisingly don't [expletive} very fast, do they?"

Wilson, the newest New York champ, will have his chance at international fame when he goes to the regionals in Austin, Texas later this year.

But it's not to late for you to hit the national competition. There are upcoming shows in Boston, Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee and Texas.

So get out there. Show the world what you've been telling your friends you could do for far too long.

Source: HuffingtonPost


In celebrities-that-beat-up-their-girlfriends news, Chris Brown got a set of supposedly shiny new grills on his teeth. Of course in that picture he just looks like he's been beaten up and his teeth have been knocked out. Hey, a girl can dream. So what do you think about his grills? Yay or Nay?


Chris Brown Grills Out at AV Nightclub

Chris Brown Grills Out at AV Nightclub

Chris Brown rocks a set of shiny grills while heading into AV Nightclub on Monday (July 2) in Hollywood.

The 23-year-old singer’s new album Fortune hit stores TODAY (July 3) and it is already number one on the iTunes charts!

“get ittttttt!!!!!!! Love you team breezy!!!” Chris tweeted to his fans and supporters.

Over the weekend, Chris picked up a pair of awards at the 2012 BET Awards – Best Male R&B Artist and Entertainer of the Year.

Source: JustJared


In other news, Sookie is showing the world that she is serious about being a good mother. She's already pushing around a stroller before the baby is born (seriously, who does that??) and even better, it's stocked with beer! Of course the beer isn't for her (cough, cough). At least not in front of the cameras. I wonder if she's heard of this pesky little condition that's called "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome". While the IQ varies, the IQ of a baby with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is around 70. (hello Forrest Gump) Actually she might have more in common with the baby then.

That was totally mean of me. I shouldn't have just said that. But you know you were all thinking it. I'm just the one who said it.


Source: TMZ


To celebrate Oreo's 100th birthday, Dunkin' Donuts is making two Oreo donuts for a limited time. Which would totally be awesome except for one thing. THERE ARE NO DUNKIN' DONUTS IN CALIFORNIA. If you were here right now watching me, you'd see that I'm stomping my feet and throwing myself on the ground in a full-on temper tantrum.


Oreo Cookie Donuts by Dunkin’ Donuts

Oreo Donuts

Dunkin’ Donuts is helping Oreo celebrate its 100th birthday by adding two Oreo donuts to its summer limited-time menu. The first is filled with vanilla buttercreme, has white iced frosting and is topped with OREO cookie crumble. The other is similar but without the vanilla buttercreme filling. According to PR Newswire, they will also offer Oreo crumble-filled frozen coffee drinks during this promotional period.

via PR Newswire

image via Foodbeast

Source: laughingsquid



And now, for today's FAIL! I like cats. I like America. But Catriotism is a complete FAIL. (Thought totally something my MIL would wear.)


fashion fail - Poorly Dressed: True Catriotism
see more epicfails



And for today's WIN! Pretty much any cupcake would be a WIN! but these definitely take the cake.


Source: SoBadSoGood



Hey, WTF?!! It's battery operated and if my eyesight isn't failing me, the packaging says "ages 4 and older." Somehow this strikes me as something for ages 18+, no?


Source: DListed


And that's all the time I have for today. Practice your Air Sex routine and choose your music. Until then, here's something you need to know...


Tanning is as cancer-causing as plutonium!

It is a well-known fact that tanning is dangerous and hazardous to your health. What many don’t realize is that the risk to your health is extreme. Tanning is actually as likely to cause cancer as plutonium is, and plutonium is highly radioactive! Using a tanning bed before the age of 30 will increase your risk of melanoma, one of the most deadly skin cancers, by 75%.


In the United States, melanoma kills about 8,650 people yearly. Additionally, your chance of getting squamous cell carcinoma is 2.5 times as likely and your chance of getting basal cell carcinoma increases by 1.5 times. With risks associated with tanning so high, it’s crazy how many people make tanning a part of their regular routine. Somewhere along the lines having tan skin became a mark of beauty and it’s costing lives!


Organizations and lawmakers are trying to lower the amount of people using tanning beds by raising awareness and creating laws. In many states, people are campaigning to ban people under the age of 18 from using tanning beds. In Wisconsin, young people under the age of 16 are not allowed to go tanning. Do you think these laws are a good way of keeping people healthy?


(Source)


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7 comments:

  1. I hope I can make it to the Air Sex Championship here in Atlanta! That would be awesome!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let me know if you need company... I mean, um... not to be, um... a, err... participant or, um... *swallows hard* I am just... curious. Yeah... curious.... and I need a place to bump and grind my imaginary Batman. *looks around nervously* What? WHAT?

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    2. Can one of you guys videotape your "act"? You know, so I can do a review of it? *wink*

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    3. Oh LAWD the Air Sex Championships are HILARIOUS! Here's the ATL Champ performing to a secret mystery song
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKFujmDrb6o&feature=plcp

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    4. Also - I'm totally upset that I missed Spank's comment since I ended up going solo *sad face*

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  2. Dear Ginger,

    You should not be judging Snookie for putting beer in her baby's stroller. You should be judging Snookie for putting Coors Light in there.

    Love the beer snob,

    Spank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, you're totally right, Spank. If she had a case of Dos Equis Lager in her baby stroller, I wouldn't judged her at all. In fact, I might have praised her even.

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