Manic Monday to you all, my little gingersnaps. Thank you for allowing my mental health days. Sometimes I need them to maintain the insanity.
In the news, Tori, the smoking Organutan, was moved to another zoo, so that she could quit her 10 year habit of smoking cigarettes. Apparently visitors would regularly throw down lit cigarettes (O_o) to her, so she could smoke. If you did that at the LA Zoo, you'd burn down the city. Anywho, best of luck to Tori during her nicotine withdrawal.
I wonder if they gave her the patch or any nicorette gum.
Tori, Smoking Orangutan, Moved In Indonesian Zoo To Quit Cigarettes
JAKARTA, Indonesia -- Indonesian zookeepers have moved an orangutan out of visitors' sight so she'll no longer smoke lit cigarettes people regularly throw into her cage.
Taru Jurug Zoo spokesman Daniek Hendarto said Thursday that Tori and her male companion, Didik, were moved Wednesday to a small island within the zoo. There are four endangered orangutans at the zoo in the Central Java town of Solo.
The 15-year-old Tori has been smoking for a decade. She mimics humans by holding cigarettes casually between her fingers while visitors watch and photograph her puffing away and flicking ashes on the ground.
Hendarto said recent medical tests show the four primates are in good condition. The two other orangutans will be moved later to another island.
So, while I was staving off a mental breakdown last week, most of you were reading Kristen Stewpid's public apology to Robert Pattinson for having an affair with the 41 year old (married father of two) director of Snow White and the Huntsman. But what you didn't know is there was actually a hidden secret message in her public apology which has only how been decoded. I will share with you this message, as it has been revealed to me by a trusted source.
I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry I'm sorry I got caught. I would've apologized earlier to you but I was still getting away with it."
And there you have it. Rob, I hope you find a better girl next time and since I feel bad for you, I'm not so mad at you for almost getting my husband fired during Eclipse. Or maybe that was me that almost got him fired. *shrugs* Just remember folks... once a cheater, always a cheater!
Kristen Stewart's Apology to Robert Pattinson for Cheating
"I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry," Stewart said in a statement Wednesday.
I shared a while back that PBS studios was making remix videos of some of the PBS heroes like Mr. Rogers. The Mr. Rogers video was pretty freakin' awesome, but as soon as I saw that one, I demanded they make one of Bob Ross. It's almost like they heard me. (maybe they did) They made one! Some of my longtime readers will know about my Bob Ross obsession. Yes I do have the Bob Ross books, and the Bob Ross paint kit (with the Bob Ross paint) and a couple of my very own Bob Ross-inspired masterpieces (cough) painted by yours truly, hanging in our house.
If they could put Bob Ross in a bottle, the world's Prozac supply would not be needed. Okay, maybe that was a little creepy. I meant his spirit, you weirdos... not his ashes. Behold... the Bob Ross remix.
And now for today's FAIL... Someone (coughBANEcough) should've been using sunscreen when he went in the sun with his mask on. How is he supposed to get away from Batman when he's practically projecting the bat sign off his forehead?
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And today's WIN! Well played, Durex. Well played.
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And that's all the time I have for today. Be sure to turn in tomorrow, where we will have a very special feature by a faithful reader Ellie Ment, and her recent knee surgery. It will be called, "Ellie on Morphine". (and yes I have permission to share her morphine-filled texts to me... be sure to tune in) Until then, there's something you should know...
It's illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament!
Britain apparently has some pretty ludicrous laws. You can’t die in the House of Parliament, because it is a royal palace. Anyone who would die there is entitled to a state funeral. If they notice you looking even the slightest bit sick, they carry you out of the building immediately.
People are also not allowed to wear armor in the building, because it is meant to be a peaceful place. It is also illegal to put a stamp on an envelope with the Monarch on it upside down. Other crazy British laws include one that states all sturgeons belong to the crown. Fishermen who catch sturgeons must call it in and may be allowed to keep it, but by no means are they allowed to sell it.
Pregnant women are allowed to relieve themselves anywhere, including in a policeman’s helmet, and to combat gluttony a 1644 law says that mince pies are not to be eaten on Christmas Day.