Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Cleaning Up My Act

Wicked Wednesday to you all, my little gingersnaps. I've just been told by a friend that my blog can no longer be accessed by his work computer because it's been deemed "p*rn". When he tried to access it, he got a message that said, "Web Category P*rn is not permitted". Hmmm.. On my blog.

D*mn you. Octomom. I bet yesterday's story tipped me over the edge, since you know I'm always so risque on this blog. Always pushing the boundaries, I am. So for now, I'm going to start using asterisks like crazy anytime there is a questionable word, and exchanging "dangerous words" for less dangerous words in hopes my friend can start reading my blog again soon.

Seriously, Work Filter Program? *shakes my head* I bet the Scientologists are behind this.


Let's get on to the news now, shall we?

At 728 pounds, Pauline Potter only agreed to take the Guinness Book of World Records title of the World's Heaviest Living Woman because she thought it would shame her into losing a major dollop of chunk. It didn't work and instead she gained more weight. That is, until she bumped into her ex-husband and the sparks flew. (well I'm guessing she didn't exactly "bump" into him since I'm not sure she can leave the house, but anywho, they reconnected again) They decided to try a different kind of aerobic exercise. So they started going at it 6 times a day. Now she claims she is burning 500 calories a pop. She says,

I can’t move much in bed, but I burn 500 calories a session – it’s great exercise just jiggling around. I hadn’t had s*x in three years, but we did it six times! He took charge as I couldn’t move much, but he was so attentive. I org*sm every time. We love foreplay and massages and, as well as full s*x, I pleasure Alex, too. My bed is strengthened and, although I can’t buy s*xy lingerie, I drape a nice sheet over me.”

Her ex-husband replied,

"It’s hard to position her and find her pleasure spots as she has a lot of fat in the pelvic area. But it turns me on knowing she’s satisfied. Although once, when she got on top, I couldn’t breathe.


You really can't make this stuff up. Well best of luck to Pauline and her ex-husband. Looks like he could use a twinkie or two with all the calories he's burning.


The World's Fattest Living Woman is "Bumping Uglies" (term changed by Ginger for protection of the innocent) to Get The Pounds Off.

Source: DListed


In movie news, they have announced that "Mocking Jay", the final installment of the 'Hunger Games' Trilogy will be split into two movies. Oh give me a freaking break. Now 'Harry Potter 7' needed to be split into two books, but this trend with Breaking Dawn (which is a book where there's a huge build up to... nothing) did not need to be split into two movies. (even though I will be at the midnight premiere for part II... *sigh*)

And NOW they're going to make 'Mocking Jay' into two movies? (which again, I'll be at the midnight premiere for both *double sigh*)

I hope they make the second movie of 'Mocking Jay' the entire last chapter of the book. Or was it the epilogue? Those of you who read it know what I mean. I'm not giving away any spoilers. (Like the part where they all die in the end. Oh crap! Sorry.)


'Hunger Games: Mockingjay' Officially Split Into Two Films

'Hunger Games: Mockingjay' Officially Split Into Two Films

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay has officially been split into two separate films with release dates one year apart from each other.

Part 1 of the film will hit theaters on November 21, 2014 while Part 2 while be released on November 20, 2015.

The Hunger Games, which stars Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, and Liam Hemsworth, was released last March and grossed over $404 million at the domestic box office and over $678 million total worldwide. The DVD hits stores on August 18.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, which will soon start production, is expected to be released on November 22, 2013.

Source: JustJared



In Scientology news, Scientologists and Tom Cruise believe he has reached the highest level of achievement, making him at God level, which means he has telekinetic and telepathic powers. Cruise is at the OT VII WTF level. Operative Thetans, Reitman says, have "have total 'control' over themselves and their environment. OTs can allegedly move inanimate objects with their minds, leave their bodies at will and telepathically communicate with, and control the behavior of, both animals and human beings."

The more advanced Cruise and other Operating Thetans become, Reitman reports, they reach a God-like state: "At the highest levels, they are allegedly liberated from the physical universe, to the point where they can psychically control what Scientologists call MEST: Matter, Energy, Space and Time."

Sounds like Katie Holmes was truly able to accomplish the "Mission Impossible" when she caught Cruise off-guard and filed for divorce from him.


Scientologists Think Tom Cruise Has Telekinetic, Telepathic Powers



Tom Cruise attends the "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol" U.S. premiere after party in New York City.

Tom Cruise attends the "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol" U.S. premiere after party in New York City.
Credit: Stephen Lovekin/Getty Image

Tom Cruise may be a superstar in Hollywood, but in the Church of Scientology, he's positively supernatural.

The 50-year-old Rock of Ages actor's devotion to the controversial religion was one of the contributing factors in his just-settled divorce from Katie Holmes -- who bitterly objected to parenting their 6-year-old daughter Suri under the unusual guidelines of Scientology.

Founded in 1954 by the late L. Ron Hubbard, Scientology ("the study of truth") has 10 million followers worldwide in 159 countries, with more than 6,000 churches, missions and outreach groups, and with reportedly billions of dollars in holdings.

Cruise (with John Travolta landing a close second) is the most well-known followers of the faith -- and, according to "Inside Scientology," an in-depth Rolling Stone investigation from March 2006, the Oscar nominee is known as an "Operating Thetan," or an "OT."

PHOTOS: Tom and Katie's romance

Having practiced Scientology for 30 years, Cruise has traveled the so-called "Bridge to Total Freedom" to achieve, through intense "auditing" sessions and other practices, a rarefied sense of enlightenment.

Scientologists mark the path to the "Bridge" with ascending grades or stages, and, Janet Reitman's Rolling Stone story reports, Cruise is at the very advanced "OT VII" stage. Operative Thetans, Reitman says, have "have total 'control' over themselves and their environment. OTs can allegedly move inanimate objects with their minds, leave their bodies at will and telepathically communicate with, and control the behavior of, both animals and human beings."

The more advanced Cruise and other Operating Thetans become, Reitman reports, they reach a God-like state: "At the highest levels, they are allegedly liberated from the physical universe, to the point where they can psychically control what Scientologists call MEST: Matter, Energy, Space and Time."

Source: UsMagazine


So Us Weekly has decided to make a nice little tribute to Jessica Simpson's 32nd birthday by showing how much weight she's gained over the years. Now I fully retain the right to make fun of someone when they announce their weight which is off by a good 30-40 pounds, because they brought it up and are totally lying. (I'm talking about you, Jessica Simpson, who publicly said you only went up to 175 before giving birth) But to point out the weight gain of someone who just gave birth is just.... it's just... well, it's poopy. That's what it is. So Jessica Simpson appears to be normal, instead of a freak of nature like Heidi Klum, Victoria Beckham and all those other moms that were back in their pre-pregnancy jeans 2 weeks after birth. Oh and then providing a link to "impressive post-baby bods" in the article (as opposed to Jessica Simpson) Give her a freakin' break.

Though no one should defend her for wearing those mom jeans in the middle picture. That was just wrong.


PICS: Jessica Simpson Turns 32: How Her Body Has Changed



View Pics

Jessica Simpson












Jessica Simpson Credit: Chris Gordon/WireImagecom; Paul Drinkwater/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images


Happy Birthday, Jessica Simpson!

The new mom marked a new chapter in her life Tuesday as she turned 32. The past year was very good to Simpson, but 32 promises to be even better.

About two months before her birthday, Simpson gave birth to her first child, daughter Maxwell Drew Johnson. The former singer turned style icon welcomed her baby girl on May 1 with fiance Eric Johnson, whom she became engaged to in November 2010.

Now, Simpson can look forward to watching her baby girl grow up. "I am so in love with baby Maxwell," she tweeted shortly after her daughter's birth. "I want to cry every time I look at her. Motherhood is by far the best thing I've ever experienced."

And she's also excited to lose the baby weight with the help of a $4 million deal with Weight Watchers. "The cool thing about the program is that it focuses on healthy habits for the long-term (and I can still indulge in my guilty pleasures every now and then, too)," she explained on Facebook on May 30. "I have actually gotten a group of friends together who are going to be doing it with me."

PHOTOS: Impressive post-baby bods

Since then, Simpson has been hitting the gym in Los Angeles and slimming down. Even before she was pregnant, Simpson has struggled with her weight. In March 2010, she spoke out to Oprah Winfrey about being criticized over her weight when she wore a pair of "mom jeans" to a performance in January 2009.

"The fact I was famous last year for gaining 10 pounds is ridiculous and really sad," she said. "But I'm really finally relaxed. I don't care what people have to say about my weight, I really don't. I think I look great."

To celebrate Simpson's birthday, Us Weekly takes a look back how her body has changed from her early days as a singer to life as a new mom.

Source: UsMagazine



Here's a rejection letter that a man received after asking to pose for PlayGirl Magazine. After reading the letter, I'm dying to know what the picture looked like!


epic fail photos - Dating Fails: Would Not Bang
see more epicfails



And now for today's (parenting) FAIL... Actually this sounds like a texting conversation my father and I would have.


epic fail photos - Autocowrecks: Dad Hates Everyone, It's Not Just You
see more epicfails



And today's WIN! That's a fabulous idea for someone who lives on the CA/NV border!


epic win photos - Right on the State Line WIN
see more WIN - Epic Win Photos and Videos



Hey, WTF?!! Bikinis: You're doing it wrong. Hey lady, you're buying your bathing suits out of the wrong section of the bathing suit store. (and perhaps in the wrong size)


fashion fail - This is Not What We Intended When We Made the Bikini
see more Poorly Dressed


And that's all the time I have for today. Hope I succeeded in keeping my post clean and p*rn free. Until tomorrow then, here's something you need to know...


Sprinkling Sugar On A Wound Helps It Heal Faster!

Sugar can help heal bedsores and other wounds when it is rubbed into it. Using sugar in wounds is a traditional African remedy and is being used in a trial at a British Hospital following a study by a Zimbabwean nurse.

The study, done by Moses Murandu, showed that granulated sugar can kill bacteria that inhibits healing and causes chronic pain. Simply pour the sugar on the wound before dressing it. In the six-month study on 21 patients, Murandu used the sugar on bedsores, leg ulcers, and amputations when wounds didn’t respond to conventional treatments.

Sugar draws out the water that allows bacteria growth in the wound. It's not painful, but actually reduces pain greatly. It’s also much cheaper than medicines and does the same thing. Mr. Murandu was give a grant to continue using sugar as a remedy on 100 more patients. He is very excited to bring relief to so many patients who have been suffering from chronic pain.

(Source)


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3 comments:

  1. As stated in my blog yesterday I love porn so it's no wonder your blog is my favorite. I always wondered why... now I know.

    A few other points: Tom Cruise may have supernatural powers but he'll never be Batman. He could, however, be Robin. He's the right size.

    Liam Hemsworth. Is it creepy that I am "in love" with him? Not because of his age but because he's engaged to Miley Cyrus which makes it just so very wrong.

    Jessica Simpson shouldn't be famous because of her weight issues. In fact, she shouldn't be famous at all.

    That lady in the bikini needs to have a threesome with the fattest lady on the planet and her ex-husband but given the weight ratio I'm not sure it if would be a threesome or group sex.

    I think that's all for now.

    *takes a bow* I'm here all week.

    ~ Spank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaha! I agree Tom Cruise could be batman. Also agree that Jessica Simpson shouldn't be famous at all. But then again, neither should the Kardashians.

      Yeah it's creepy you're in love with Liam Hemsworth. He's got bad taste (Miley Cyrus" and he's a bad actor. Now being in love with his older brother Thor... that's perfectly understandable.

      I think you might be on to something with the Lady in the bikini. (well not literally "on something" because that would make it a foursome) But she could certainly get it on the rolly polly fun.

      Delete
    2. OMG THOR! Dude... I cannot tell you the things I would do with his hammer. *dies*

      Delete