Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Camel Plague

Tortuous Tuesday to you all, my little gingersnaps.  How was your Monday?  Did it include air conditioning?  If so, it was better than mine.  *throws ice water at my face in order to cool off*

In the news, an Oklahoma man was stopped for speeding.  When the trooper asked about a chemical smell coming from the car, the man fled.  The trooper stated, "After a brief struggle, it was determined there was an active meth lab in his pants that burst during the struggle and got over his body."

Okay, wait up... the guy had an active meth lab in his pants?  Isn't that something someone usually has in their basement?  I didn't even know you could fit a meth lab in your pants.  I feel like an NBC PSA announcement coming up... "The More You Know..."  Perhaps I can work this into my children's homeschool lessons.  Yes kids... you can, in fact, fit a meth lab in your pants, but I wouldn't recommend it

David Williams, Oklahoma Man, Accused Of Having A Meth Lab In His Pants

David Williams Meth Lab 
Is that a meth lab in your pants or are you just unhappy to be arrested?
News On 6 reports that a meth lab in David Williams' pants exploded during a scuffle with a police officer, according to the Oklahoma Highway Patrol.
Williams and his friend were originally pulled over for speeding early Friday morning in Okmulgee County, Okla., but when a trooper asked about a chemical smell coming from the car, Williams fled, according to police.
"After a brief struggle, it was determined there was an active meth lab in his pants that burst during the struggle and got all over his body," trooper Shiloh Hall told News On 6.
KOTV reports that portable meth labs are "incredibly dangerous, because they require putting "chemical ingredients in a single container, then flipping it upside down to mix it. The built-up pressure makes the mixture highly explosive."
KTLA reported that Williams was arrested for manufacturing a controlled and dangerous substance and that the female driver of the car was also apprehended.

 In celebrity news, Lady Gaga is up to her crazy dressing again, but this time I approve.  She is wearing a dress made of purple hair.  I may only have a streak of purple in my hair, but given the chance to wear a purple hair dress, I would definitely go for it. 

Lady Gaga: Hairy Dress Hong Kong Arrival

Lady Gaga: Hairy Dress Hong Kong Arrival
Lady Gaga makes a fashion statement upon arriving in Hong Kong in a dress made out of purple hair on Saturday (April 28).
The 26-year-old singer blew kisses to her fans and signed autographs.
PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics of Lady Gaga
“I’m so grateful for all of you, thank you monsters,” Lady Gaga tweeted. “Last night was like being completely prepared for a moment you could never prepare for. I’m so happy to be in Hong Kong! We have 4 shows here! Thanks for buying tickets my amazing little monsters, I can’t wait to rock this city.”
Source: JustJared

In other celebrity news,  does Mariah Carey not have any good friends?  A stylist?  Someone to tell her, dear God in Heaven, please do not go out on stage dressed like that... camel toes belong in the desert... ON CAMELS.  And on an completely related note... does anyone have some eye bleach I can use?

 Source: DListed

If you have not seen this firefighter Sauza Tequila video, you must.  I laughed hysterically throughout.  Though I'm sure it speaks volumes that I'd rather have the baby kitteh than the hunky firefighter. 

Thanks Karen!

And now for today's FAIL... I don't know... that candy looks kinda spoiled to me.  I wouldn't try it. 

Reminds me of the time I was on a girl's night out to Lucky Strike bowling lanes when a guy followed two of us into the girl's bathroom and asked us if we wanted "candy".   I'm a little sad that my first instinct was to yell at him and chase him out of the bathroom, because if I never did find out what kind of "candy" he was offering.  I am partial to Tootsie Pops.  Especially in grape flavor.   Perhaps I should put my story on Craig's List under "missed connections", if only to find out what kind of delicious sweet concoctions he was offering. 

funny tattoos - Ugliest Tattoos: A Balanced Diet
see more epicfails

And now for today's (responding to haters) WIN!  Every author that gets a bad review should respond like this. 

Hey, WTF?!!  This is one unique engagement photo.  Did you even notice the snake?  The one in her hand, you weirdos, not his!  (don't miss reading her hilarious explanation below the picture)

“This photo has it all when it comes to awkward engagement photos. My husband and I were 19 at the time of the photo and I was still a bit rebellious. My dad was paying for the wedding (including the engagement photos) and I seized the opportunity to show him how grown up I was. I was attempting an artistic Garden of Eden which even included my pet python, Merlin. I frantically purchased fake flowers the day of the photo shoot because I was inspired to make the photo more authentic. After our traditional engagement photos, we took our clothes off and tried some alternate poses.  When we got our proofs back, we showed them to my family at my birthday dinner. My grandma screamed, “OH MY GOD!” and I started crying and ran to the car where soon-to-be husband yelled, “Well, what did you expect!?!”

 And that's all the time I have for today.  Looking ahead to my OMG Fact of the day, I can't help but think of my dear older brother, who is a Medieval Historian and an expert on the Black Plague.  True Story.  I stole this from his website.  This basically sums him up:


This is my brother, who I often joke that he's so green, his carbon footprint is balancing out mine.  Actually that's not a joke... it's probably true.  He rides his bike in the snow in Cincinnati while I drive my SUV in Los Angeles.  Anywho, what was it like following after a big brother who was Valedictorian, Captain of the Wrestling Team, and Prom King before going off to become a Rhodes Scholar, a Marshall Scholar and a Fullbright Scholar?  How did I feel about teachers that informed me that he had a 104% average in their class when I was pulling a solid C?  No worries... my dad told me I have "street smarts".  *nods proudly*

ALSO... I read this study once that said that siblings raised together all have similar IQ's (within 10 points of each other), so I'm nearly as smart as he is.  I just use my IQ to... to... to find adjectives that start with the same letter as the day of the week.

Plague Doctors in the 16th century wore BEAKS on their faces!

Physicians that saw those with the Bubonic Plague during the Venetian Renaissance, often known as Plague Doctors, wore a bird-like mask for protection and to depict the symbol of the Plague, the raven.
They didn't do it just to be unbelievably creepy, though. The costumes were as much protective as they were scary-looking. The Bubonic Plague was extremely contagious and deadly. The overcoat was made of extremely heavy fabric that allowed for extra protection. The mask actually had glass eyes to prevent the infection getting in through the eyes.
The beak, arguably the creepiest part of the mask, also had a good functional reason. In the past, before germs and bacteria were discovered, it was thought that diseases were carried through a bad air that emanated from the diseased. The Bubonic Plague was very contagious, so the beak served as an extra protection from it. The beak was filled with scented materials, such as amber, balm-mint leaves and rose petals.
Finally, the wooden cane was a pointer that was useful for examining the patients without having to touch them. An interesting fact is that these plague doctors were actually considered to be second-rate doctors that didn't have the expertise to put their own practice, and as a result, had to take on these riskier patients.



  1. Oh. My. Heck. I should hope that I have better friends than Mariah Carey. Even if I did have to pay them.

  2. It's rather frightening that the "normal" photo is of Lady Gaga!!!

    1. I know, Jeff. I think it's a sign of the "end times".

  3. LMAO your brother is such a medieval smart geek. I bet he'd go to the Renaissance fair with us!

    and Holy Camel Toe! Geez man...

    about the plague beak people- I'm just happy someone is willing to do that job. I think I'd rather go to war than be a doctor of contagious diseases.

    1. I bet my brother could run his own Renaissance fair! Actually, now that I think about it... he might not be any fun to attend with because he'd point out all the historical inaccuracies. :/

      Jamie, you're a hypochondriac... you'd rather sell your firstborn than be a doctor of contagious diseases. ;)