Friday, March 23, 2012

I Live On The Second Floor

Facinorous Friday to you all, my little gingersnaps! Well, the Whitney Houston toxicology reports are back. Apparently it's not a good idea to take COCAINE right before you have a bath, when you already have marijuana, Xanax, muscle relaxers and Benadryl in your system. Whitney, what were you thinking?! Uppers and downers at the same time? And to think my dad (Monday's guest blogger, a doctor and Xanax-hater) was using Whitney's death as a reason for me to throw out my Xanax. I don't even mix my Xanax with Benadryl! And I don't even take baths anyway. #StepAwayFromTheXanaxAndNoOneGetsHurt

In the news, a California store clerk was shot in the butt during an altercation with would-be robbers. How does that even happen? Did the would-be robbers aim for his butt? Did he have a big butt? Cause that might have been a factor. Anyway, his wallet STOPPED THE BULLET. Not sure what he had in that wallet, but he needs to keep it on him. The suspects got away and are still at large.

Man's Wallet Stops Bullet

Mans Wallet Stops Bullet

A Modesto, Calif., store clerk was shot in the buttocks during an altercation with would-be robbers, but his wallet saved the day.

Fox40 reports that the unidentified man's wallet kept his moneymaker from sustaining any damage.

Following the shooting, the unidentified three suspects fled the scene in a silver or gray Honda, reports. The suspects are currently still at-large.

This isn't the only time unexpected objects have played a life-saving role when guns start firing.

MSNBC reported on an incident in Indianapolis in which bullets were stopped by a watermelon and a bible.

And just last month, a Kentucky police officer's badge kept a bullet from causing serious damage, according to Fox News.

(Source: huffingtonpost)

Hilary Duff and her Hockey player husband had a baby boy and named him Luca Cruz. Wait, it's a boy, right? Named Luca? That kid is not going to get teased at all. "His name is Luca... he lives on the second floor....He lives upstairs from you... don't make fun of his girly name or his Hockey Playing daddy will throw you down the stairs."

Luca Cruz Comrie: Hilary Duff's Baby Boy!

Luca Cruz Comrie: Hilary Duff's Baby Boy!

Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie are the proud parents of a baby boy named Luca Cruz Comrie!

Luca was born Tuesday evening (March 20) and weighed 7 lbs., 6 oz. He is the first child for the 24-year-old actress and NHL alum.

PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics of celebrity babies

“We are overjoyed and feel like the luckiest parents in the world,” Hilary wrote on her Twitter account.

“He is surrounded by so much love!! Mom and baby are both doing extremely well,” Hil continued.

Congratulations to Hilary and Mike!!

Source: JustJared

Uh oh, the Twilight generation is reading Bram Stoker's Dracula. Wait, you mean it's not as well written as Twilight? I want my money back!

homework class test - School of Fail: Bram Stoker is Rolling Over in His Grave
see more epicfails

And now for today's FAIL! Someone isn't teaching the English kiddies American history. (the last line is classic)

funny facebook fails - Failbook: They Must Not Learn About The Mayflower
see more epicfails

And today's WIN! (sidenote: my 12 year old Lego obsessed son just asked me to make him this cake for his next birthday. I told him no, but I could probably find a bakery to make it for him FOR HIS WEDDING. He then informed me he it would be for a wedding... to the frosting on his tongue! *sigh* I haven't been able to win at logic with this kid since he turned 2.)

epic win photos - LEGO Cake WIN
see more WIN - Epic Win Photos and Videos

Hey, WTF?!! This is the Asian version of a Mullet. Business in the front, party in the back. (FYI this would've been a WIN! if it was say... Gerard Butler or Hugh Jackman wearing this outfit)

fashion fail - Business In The Front, Party In The Back
see more Poorly Dressed

And that's all the time I have for today. Have a razzle dazzle weekend and don't forget to keep your wallets on you, you know... in case of bullets. And for heaven's sake, never mix cocaine with marijuana, Xanax, muscle relaxers and Benadryl before taking a bath. Until Monday then...

Your spit contains a painkiller that can be 6 times more powerful than morphine

Human saliva contains a natural painkiller called opiorphin. Due to its powerful painkilling ability, scientists are trying to synthesize a new natural painkiller from opiorphin. It is great, because it doesn’t have the same addicting attributes that morphine does and would work better with the body.

In a study, 1 milligram of opiorphin gave the same results as 3 milligrams of morphine did. In another study, involving rats standing on pins, they needed 6 times more morphine than opiorphin to make them oblivious to the pain.

Opiorphin works in the nerve cells of the spine. It stops the usual destruction of natural pain killing opiates in the spine called enkephalins. It is such a simple molecule, that scientists believe it’ll be possible to synthesize it and produce large quantities of it without needing to isolate it from saliva. Another approach is to find a drug that will make the body produce more opiorphin to manage pain.




  1. So many comments to make on today's blog. First, after reading the title of today's blog, I was already humming the Luca song before I got to the story about Hilary's baby. That's a win!
    Second...not one, but two stories that show the sad state of a lot of young people today...1-trashing a classic piece of literature because it's NOT like Twilight (full disclosure...I've never read Twilight so I can't directly comment on it as literature) and 2-I guess history isn't taught in some schools these days?
    And finally, I think I'm going to ask my wife to make me that Lego cake for my birthday next month! That cake is so full of win!!
    Now please excuse me...I need to go place my order for a new suit! :)

  2. Your Xanax hashtag had me making hand hearts at you.

    And of course Dracula got one star! Everyone knows that REAL vampires sparkle, drive Volvo's, love America's pasttime, are avid students, are more chaste than a sequestered monk, abhor lust and murder! Jeesh...

    ~ Spank

  3. #neverhadXanaxbutGingermakesitsoundlikefun

    You have to feel for the store clerk...he has a great story to tell right up to the point where someone asks, "Where did you get shot?" and he has to answer, "In the butt." It loses all street cred at that point.

    "Twilight you should totally read..." I'm pretty sure those were the exact words you said me when you suggested I would enjoy them. Of course that was before a certain sparkly vampire was a tool to Mr. G!

    When we were making a list of potential names before Matthew was born, my Egyptian husband suggested Mina. Apparently it is a popular for boys in Egypt as it is the name of a Coptic Saint. My son is growing up in hockey-obsessed Toronto so giving him a name that was going to ensure he got the crap kicked out of him everyday at recess was not an option. At least Hilarie Duff's son has a (retired) NHL player for a Dad so the cool factor may help him avoid playground fisticuffs. Maybe.

    That Lego cake is amazing! I fully support H's request for it to be his next birthday cake. He is turning 13 after all and that requires a cake to remember. :)

  4. That Lego cake is really amazing!

    But poor Whitney.

  5. Hahah at the people reading Dracula after reading Twilight. While I admire their try at a classic, you cannot compare the two (die-hard Dracula fan). It is a hard read since it's diary style.
    Also? I like the name Luca. There's weirder ones out there, for sure. ;)

    1. You're right, Megan, Luca does not compare to Apple, Moxie Crimefighter and Bear Blue.

  6. I don't like Hilary Duff. I'm being catty today. I hope her baby is happy and healthy, though!

    I want that lego cake! Brian's 31st birthday for sure!

    Poor Whitney....

  7. Whitney :(

    I still blame Bobby Brown.

  8. Another celeb baby. I am so over all the celeb baby craze.

  9. You are hilarious on so many levels...what is with that outfit??????? Sad about Whitney

  10. I always love reading your posts! So great!

  11. Love the Lego cake. It made me tired just looking at it. Such detail.
    Agree about poor Whitney. Addiction is a terrible thing.