Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Scratch Butt And Sniff

Touchy Tuesday to you all, my little gingersnaps. Having a nice Valentine's Day so far? By the way, Spank... my daughter wanted to send your son a Valentine's card and candy but what with the stomach flu this weekend, we didn't get around to it, and I didn't think you'd want us sending you anything with stomach flu germs anyway. But it's the thought that counts. It was even her idea. Even though their future marriage will be orchestrated by us. Oh yes, Spank and I have already picked the wedding colors for our children's wedding. We're still working on the guest list though.

Now on to the news, a man broke into a woman's apartment, cooked up some chicken, then folded her laundry and swept the floors. The woman who owned the apartment arrived home to find him after a night of playing bingo and didn't seem to mind that he drank her orange juice since he cleaned the floors and folded the laundry. I don't know about you, but I'm sensing a love match. Really, the man cooks, cleans and folds laundry without stealing anything. I say he's a keeper.

Keith Davis Accused Of Breaking Into South Bend Apartment, Cooking Chicken

A Feb. 6 police mug shot of Keith Davis.

An Indiana woman recently came home from a night of playing Bingo to a man police said had broken into her apartment, cooked himself some food and done several household chores.

"He cooked some chicken and onions in a pan, folded my clothes up and swept my floor," Ashley Murray, of South Bend, told WNDU.

"The police said it looked like he was a good chef. It looked like he had broth and everything in it," she said.

Police arrested 46-year-old Keith Davis Feb. 6, for breaking and entering. Davis is being held in the St. Joseph County Jail on $5,000 bond and prosecutors have requested Davis undergo a psychological evaluation.

Murray said that she and her son left their apartment that afternoon to play Bingo. Murray told ABC 57-News that she had won $50, and when Murray and her son returned home around 11:30 p.m., they discovered the stranger who had entered the apartment through a window.

"Davis had folded her laundry, which was neatly folded and on the kitchen table," reads the probable cause affidavit. "He had also vacuumed the living room and dining room floors with her vacuum sweeper."

Davis allegedly refused to leave the apartment and when officers from the South Bend Police Department arrived on the scene they found him seated in a chair inside.

When confronted by police, Davis appeared confused. According to police, Davis said a Korean woman told him how to get into the home and but then he changed his story and claimed he lived in the apartment.

"He then began to talk about his time in the service and other tangential comments ... Officers had a difficult time understanding his speech and obscure tangents," the affidavit reads.

"He really seemed to think this was his home," Murray told WNDU.

Murray said she does not know Davis but thinks he lives in the same apartment complex, only several streets over. Authorities said they haven't found an address for Davis.

In an interview with WSBT, Murray said the break-in was unnerving. But she joked with the news station when asked if Davis had been a good housekeeper.

"Yes, he drank up my orange juice, but it's cool, because he swept my floors and folded my clothes," Murray said.

In celebrity news, Rihanna informs Fergie that she looks like a "black girl from the back". Oh yes, Fergie... that was what I was told repeatedly in high school. Guys followed me around the gym calling me "Big Booty Girl" and "Oh my gawd, Becky... look at her butt!". It's okay. I've come to terms with my "black girl from the back" butt. I even wrote a 6 page essay in college English entitled, "My Big Ol' Butt". Got an "A" on it too. In fact the professor liked it so much he kept it. #TrueStory

Rihanna Tells Fergie: “You Look Like A Black Girl From The Back!”

Here it is: Our favorite moment from the Grammys red carpet. While interviewing Fergie (whose lady-lump-hugging orange couture Jean Paul Gaultier gown had everyone scratching their head), our correspondent Janell Snowden grabbed Rihanna — who was breathtaking in her slinky, black Armani — as she walked by. The two singers then had an adorable reunion — the friends were both collaborators on Kanye’s Grammy-nominated “All of the Lights” — that culminated in Rihanna complimenting the Black Eyed Pea on her booty.

“You look like a black girl from the back!” Riri gushed as Fergie giggled, “I’m trying!”

“You need to try and give me that dress!” Rihanna shot back. Come to think of it, that gown would probably look good on her.

Source: thefablife

Hey, men... how about wearing something special for your significant other today on this very romantic day. Something like... raspberry scented jeans? Because deep down inside, that's what everyone wants on their guy... to go up and smell their butt (or crotch) and be reminded of their childhood Strawberry Shortcake doll (Raspberry Torte). That's definitely a turn-on.

Scratch-n-Sniff Raspberry Scented Denim Jeans

Canada-based Naked & Famous Denim coated denim fabric with mini microcapsules that when scratched release the candy-like smell of raspberries for their new mens’ scratch-n-sniff raspberry scented denim jeans. The raspberry scent lasts up to five wash cycles “depending on how you care for them and how often you wear ‘em.” The jeans are available to purchase online from Tate + Yoko.

Yes! These jeans really do scratch-n-sniff with a fun candy-like raspberry scent! Try them out!

via Time NewsFeed

And ladies... I have the perfect dress you can wear on your romantic date out tonight... it's the butt cleavage dress! Why show off boob cleavage when you can show off your butt cleavage!

Butt Cleavage Dress

The Super Sexy Dress from Etsy shop LinaSpyroS can be best described, in our opinion, as a butt cleavage dress.

This super sexy dress is made of synthetic fabric. It reveals the most attractive part of the women’s body.

Oh yes it does.

via Hillary Buckholtz and sprywhimsy

And now, for the romantic gift to give your lady, how about some anatomically correct jewelry? You may not be ready to give her your heart, but maybe you can settle for a pair of lungs, intestines or even some kidneys.

Anatomical Organ-Shaped Jewelry by Lou Giesen

French artist Lou Giesen has designed a series of anatomical organ-shaped jewelry pieces which includes a necklace that looks like a large gold pair of lungs, a long intestine-like neckpiece, a kidney-shaped neckpiece and more.

And now for today's Valentine's Card. Can't decide if it's a FAIL or a WIN! so I will use it to claim both categories.

dating fails - Dating Fails: I Follow You Home Because I Care
see more epicfails

And that's all the time I have for today. My own Prince Charming is off work today, so I plan to spend every moment I can with him today. Hope you all have a lovely Valentine's Day. If you don't have a Valentine's, I hear candy and time with cats serves as a close second. Until tomorrow then...

Sleeping Beauty was raped in the original story!

Most people don’t know how different modern day fairy tales are to the originals they are derived from. Original versions often include murder, incest, and gruesome punishment.

The earliest form of Sleeping Beauty that we have is from an Italian poet named Giambattista Basile, and in the story Sleeping Beauty is poisoned and left for dead in the forest. She is then found by a nobleman who rapes her, and only wakes up during labor nine months later to twins! Luckily Disney changed this part to a kiss.




  1. Let me guess... the wedding colors are purple... ;)

    Max had the stomach flu as well recently so it's best they keep their germs to themselves until such time they are lawfully wed and free to exchange, um, er... germs.

    ~ Spank

  2. @Spank, DUDE, the colors are red, gold and green!! ;) And we're serving Raw Kitfo at the reception!!!

  3. Lovin would be easy if your colors were like my dreams; Red, gold, and green. Red, gold, and green!

    And I need some of those pants for my man!

    But, not an intestinal necklace.