Friday, February 10, 2012

Blame it on the boobies

Foreboding Friday to you all, my little gingersnaps. Got any plans this weekend? Celebrating Valentine's Day early? My kids' dance studio is having a Kids Night In party (so parents can go out and celebrate V'day) on Saturday with dancing, games, pizza, candy and a movie. So of course I signed them up! And now Mr. G has to work on Saturday. Which means I just paid $50 for my kids to party while I get to hang out alone at home with my cats. Awesome.


In the news, a Florida woman was stopped by police for reckless driving and reeked of alcohol while slurring her speech. When asked to take a sobriety test (walking in a straight line, balancing, etc.) she explained to the nice officer that she couldn't do that because of her big boobies. When he asked her to walk, she started to dance. When he asked her to keep her arms at her side, she informed him that she wasn't able to do that due to the size of her boobies. The officer also wrote in his report that she then started taking off her clothes so she could show the officer her big boobies, but he stopped her and arrested her for drunk driving.

Guess that means I can't use that excuse either if I'm ever pulled over. Why she gotta be from Florida?


Florida Woman Busted For DUI Blames Poor Driving On Big Boobs: Maureen Raymond Arrested

Maureen Raymond
Maureen Raymond claims she was busted because she's busty.

Busted!

A Florida woman arrested Sunday for driving under the influence told police that she would have passed a sobriety test -- if not for her "big boobies," according to a Martin County Sheriff's Office report.

Marueen Raymond, 49, allegedly drove her grey Toyota Camry over 50 mph through a 35 mph zone near Jenson Beach, swerving over a double yellow line twice before parking her car across two spaces in a nearby Walgreen's lot.

Cops responded to the reckless vehicle notice and found Raymond in the driver's seat, reeking of alcohol and slurring her speech, the report explains.

"When I told her we were going to do some roadside tasks she told me that I needed to understand that she is big chested and if I asked her to close her eyes and balance she is not going to balance well," the officer wrote. "She told me 'Big breast you don't balance well.'"

Asked if she had any injuries, Raymond told the officer that she had "big breasts" and whiplash, according to the report.

Asked to walk a straight line, Raymond began to dance.

"When I told her she had to keep her hands at her side she stated 'hell no, not with these.' Telling me again she can't do it, not with her big boobies," the officer added.

The report also explains that Raymond "began to take her clothes off to show me her breast and I stopped her."

Source: huffingtonpost


In celebrity news, @Schwarzenegger (did I mention that he follows me on twitter???) (did I mention that the fact that he follows me on twitter pretty much makes my life complete?) (did I mention that makes me kind of pathetic?) (did I mention that I don't really mind being pathetic as long as @Schwarzenegger follows me on twitter?) tweeted this picture of himself recovering from shoulder surgery while Stallone waits in line for his own shoulder surgery, as a result of stunts on their new Expendables movie. Yeah it's going to be a movie full of action, violence and funny one-liners. You bet I'm going to watch it. #GetWellArnold #Don'tReallyCareAboutStallone I'd like to tell you why I feel that way about Stallone, but I like my husband and don't want him to get fired. Suffice it to say, years of steroid abuse does not improve one's personality. Quite the opposite in fact.


Source: TMZ



If you missed the adorable Kristen Bell on Ellen, discussing her recent birthday present from her boyfriend, you HAVE to watch it now.




Now watch the autotuned version of Kristen Bell on Ellen. It's pretty freakin awesome.





And now, for today's FAIL...


mobile phone texting autocorrect - Autocowrecks: Heil-arious
see more epicfails


And for today's WIN!


epic win photos - WIN!: Nutrition Facts WIN
see more epicfails


Today's WTF moment is brought to you by Leann Rimes' latest tattoo, in honor of her husband. It says, "The only one that matters." Which, I may point out is grammatically incorrect. It should read, "The only one WHO matters" which makes me assume that she's not really referring to her husband, but instead is saying that of her two feet, the right one is "the only one that matters."




And that's all the time I have for today. Choose which of your own feet is the only one that matters and have a lovely Valentine weekend. Try to think of me while I'm hanging out with my cats and my kids are having a better time than I am. Perhaps I should take their place and leave THEM at home. *thinking* Anyway, until Monday then, here's something you should know...


Want to lower your sex drive? Keep licorice handy

Licorice has been used a lot for medicinal effect. Herbalists use it to treat the adrenal glands, and Chinese medicine uses it in a variety of treatments. However, it also has another use.

Research has found that when people eat around 25g of licorice, it can affect sex drive. Licorice contains Glycerrhizinic Acid. This acid inhibits the liver's ability to deactivate cortisol incirculation. The result of this is that the cortisol levels rise, and that reduces the action of testosterone. This in turn, reduces sex drive.

(Source)


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3 comments:

  1. Kristen Bell Auto-tune= awesomeness.

    That is all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. lol, all were fantastic. I was wondering how long before they auto tuned Kristen Bell sloth. . .issues.

    ReplyDelete
  3. lol, all were fantastic. I was wondering how long before they auto tuned Kristen Bell's sloth. . .issues.

    ReplyDelete