Monday, November 21, 2011

Breaking Bad

Welcome everyone! Today's Gingersnaps in the Morning has been hijacked by The Spank and Ginger Show!!! That's right! And we're talking about Breaking Bad Breaking Dawn Part I.

Ginger: Hey Spank!

Spank: Whaddup G?

Ginger: I think I already know the answer to this question, but Spank... would you like to tell everyone what you thought of "Breaking Dawn"?

Spank: The preview for "Hunger Games" looked really good.

Ginger: Yes it did. Well I guess we can all go home now. Just kidding. Spank, tell me what you really thought of the movie.

Spank: There were parts of it that were more painful to watch than a vampire transformation.

Ginger: Agreed. I know some people enjoyed it, but I think it was the worst one in the series. And I didn't even have high expectations for it.

Spank: I expected it to be good.

Ginger: *gigglesnort*

Spank: Hey, Ginger, how 'bout them wolves?

Ginger: You mean the scene where the Transformers were arguing with the Decepticons?

Spank: That would be the one.

Ginger: I think they blew the entire visual effects budget on making Bella look like an 85 pound cancer patient because the wolves looked much better in "New Moon" and "Eclipse".

Spank: I didn't think it was visually dynamic.

Ginger: No, but what WAS entertaining was the fact that you heckled your way through the movie, Brooklyn-style, making sure you were loud enough for the entire theater to hear. It was like watching a director's commentary, except with heckling.

Spank: Well the audience paid for entertainment. Someone had to provide it.

Ginger: I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out.

Spank: Lord knows I tried.

Ginger: Yes, like during the part where it shows Bella's transformation into a vampire, in the blue dress with the dramatic music. What did you say again?

Spank: I said, "Since when did Alice start shopping at TJMaxx? I realize these are tough economic times, but..."

Ginger: So what was your favorite part of the movie, Spank?

Spank: The Hunger Games trailer.

Ginger: Second favorite?

Spank: The wedding reception toasts.

Ginger: Agreed. I thought that was the best part of the movie. Loved Charlie and Jessica. Hey, Spank, how about that sex scene?

Spank: What sex scene?

Ginger: Exactly

Spank: Maybe we were just left in the dark.

Ginger: Literally. When we joked about them fading to black, I didn't realize they were actually going to go from kissing to Fade. To. Black.

My favorite line in the movie, meaning my favorite line from the Brooklyn Heckler (i.e. YOU), was where Edward was pointing out Bella's bruises from their wedding night and said angrily, "What do you call this?" and you said to the audience, "I call that really great sex!".

The entire audience erupted in laughter. Of course this is the same audience that was shushing you by the end of the movie.

Spank: *snort*

Ginger: After watching part I, I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to watching part II when it comes out. How about you, Spank?

Spank: I'm really looking forward to "Hunger Games".

Ginger: Team Peeta!

Spank: Team Lenny Kravitz!

Well, I think we just about covered everything about our "Breaking Dawn" experience. Our apologies to everyone in our theater that actually liked it.

A very special thank-you to Spank for participating in today's post. I'll meet you back here same time, same place tomorrow for another episode of Gingersnaps in the Morning. Until then, dream of Transformers in wolf's clothing. Oh, and one more thing...

The least financially successful Harry Potter film made $90 million more than the most successful Twilight movie!

I would HOPE that this is true! The Twilight Saga: New Moon grossed $709 million worldwide in 2009, which doesn’t hold a candle to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’s $795 million haul five years earlier. Though New Moon did better at the box office than the original Twilight film, the series experienced a bit of a dip the following year when Eclipse failed to surpass the sales of the second movie. By the same token, none of the Harry Potter flicks have managed to match the success of the original film, though the most recent movie did come closest.


CLICK HERE for this week's product review on Mommy Hates Chemicals!


  1. Remember when we watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 again the next day to clean our palates? That. Was. Good. ;)

    Love you...

    ~ Spank

  2. Okay, you guys seriously need to come to Toronto for Part 2. Sounds like you had a great time!

  3. best post.
    i love it. I could not even handle this movie... it was awful.. Im bummed you didn't touch the birth scene... she looked like she was covered in red jello..

    ALSO WHAT THE CRAP IMPRINT SCENE? uhhh... can Jacob pick his balls up off the floor... I did not picture it to be so corny...

    maybe good ole flask-y will have to join me for part 2...

  4. They didn't play the new Hunger Games trailer when I saw it - I was MASSIVELY bummed!

    Also, it WAS actually red jello and cream cheese - good eye!

    The wolfy Optimus Prime voice-over part - GAH - so terrible.

    That said, my expectations must have been really, really low because it was better than I expected it to be. Go figure.

  5. @Meghanface and @Snarkier Than You - I am laughing SO hard. Please... the birth scene.... So bad. So so bad... And the imprint scene. My GOD! G and I could have done FIVE posts and not covered enough of how bad this movie was...

    Bummed you didn't get to see the HG trailer, Snarkier. It was goosebumpy goodness.

    ~ Spank

  6. I would've loved to be in your theater with snarky remarks flying left and right. ;)

  7. I loved the wedding scene, honeymoon too...minus the non-existent sex...blah... Ginger, I keep meaning to share this dang link. Not only is it a purple-liscious house, but it's kitty cat heaven too! Click the blueprint and the photos walk you thru the whole house...had to share, as I saw it and thought of a nice way. And yes, I was DYING to log on and see your thoughts on Breaking Dawn...

  8. Aw. I didn't think it was so horrible. But I do agree about them spending their entire special effects budget on making Bella skeletal.

  9. Spank, that's right. We DID have to watch Harry Potter 7 part II as a palate cleanser the next day.

    @Meghanface, we totally could've gone on and one about the birth scene and the uncomfortably pedophile imprint scene. But then the post would've been way too long.

    @SnarkierThanYou, red jello and cream cheese? Ugh.. that's even worse than I thought.