Now for the news, a man was cutting open a bag of coffee with a knife (sidebar: who cuts open a bag of coffee with a knife instead of a scissors?), when his wife said something. He turned around to face her (holding the knife) when his cat tripped him and he fell, impaling himself on the knife. The wife and son corroborated the story, so no further investigation was needed.
I personally live in a household of previously (and soon to be again) five inside cats. I've been tripped by them many times. Thankfully never while holding a knife. I try to avoid handling knives whenever I'm stressed, or around my children, or around misbehaving cats. Keeps me out of jail that way. What?
So it has just been announced that Robert Pattinson is releasing a full album of his music. Since Spank was my Twilightheaded co-author, I thought I'd get her take on this.
You realize that music by Robert Pattinson is going to sound much like those millions of Twi-hards wailing and moaning, right? Much like they do at the 100 Monkeys show where, by the way, you will actually hear talented musicians with something to offer the music community but they will never get respect because of said Twi-hards who go there to see Jasper Whitlock (newsflash Twitards: It's JACKSON RATHBONE) and oh yeah... Robert [expletive] Pattinson's CD will go [expletive] platinum. Why? Because he's Robert [expletive] Pattinson. And you know what? I'm bothered!
And the fact that I am buying this CD is not indicative of being a recovering Twi-Hard but someone who fully intends on using it as a drinking game. Take a shot whenever you cannot understand a [expletive] word he is saying.
Oh, I don't know, Spank. Maybe you should take a drink every time you DO understand a word he says, otherwise you will be trashed by the end of the first song. Or is that the point?
Will I buy it? Probably not. But I have a feeling it will be flying off the shelves, due to the uproar I caused after a certain husband of mine, who was working on a certain movie of his, ninja pic'd a casual pic of this actor then texted it to me. I thought I was innocently sharing this with a few twitter friends as a treat, but within 5 minutes, it was picked up by all the major blogs and broadcasted EVERYWHERE (along with my twitter account), until the actor's personal bodyguards picked up on it, alerted the movie studio, who then came down to a certain husband's work on a Saturday, demanding to know who this "Ginger" person is, and then threatened to fire him. And you know what the scandalous picture captured him doing? Drinking some coffee. Oh yes. #scandal Needless to say, this certain husband of mine now refuses to take ninja pics for me, as he should.
And now, for today's FAIL. Children are the orgasm of life? Me thinks whoever came up with this slogan, has never actually had a child OR an orgasm.
Hey, WTF??!! This diehard Star Wars fan will never accept a shat from Star Trek. I don't want to be shatted on. Especially on my head. Star Trek fans are weird. And by Star Trek fans, I'm speaking of my sister. But it's ok, she doesn't read this blog anyway.
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And that's all the time I have for today. Just say no to the Shat, and avoid sharing ninja pics unless you take them yourselves. Until tomorrow then...
Vlado Taneski made a name for himself for his in-depth coverage of a serial killer’s actions in his home town of Kicevo, Macedonia. Four elderly women in the town mysteriously disappeared under similar circumstances between 2003 and 2008.
Thanks to what appeared to be amazing investigative reporting from Nova Makedonija journalist Vlado Taneski, three of the missing women’s bodies were found. Before the location of the fourth body was revealed, police were able to correctly pinpoint the real killer. It was the reporter, Vlado Taneski! Taneski later took his own life in prison.