Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Porcelain & Rhinestone Throne

White-washed Wednesday to you all, my little gingersnaps. In the news, a man broke into a woman's apartment, started growling and making hissing noises, then proceeded to hit and bite her. She escaped, and when the police arrived, they heard yells and growls coming from the parking lot, where they were able to apprehend Lyle Monroe Bensley, who claims to be a vampire. In fact he begged the police to restrain him because he didn't want to hurt anyone. Then went on to explain that he's a 500 year old vampire that simply needs to feed.

Well I have the perfect test to see if he's a vampire or not. I say we either behead him or stake him through the heart, and then it should be perfectly clear what we're dealing with.

Source: huffingtonpost

People celebrated the 34th anniversary of the death of Elvis yesterday. First of all... why does anyone celebrate the anniversary of someone's death, unless the person was evil? I don't get it. Celebrating deceased people on the anniversary of their birthday, I totally get. On a side note, my grandfather went out just like Elvis this past year. You know, sitting on the throne. What, too soon? I thought it was kinda funny. I mean, when I go out, I do NOT want to be discovered sitting on the toilet. Please, anything but that. Though now that I think about it, it's a distinct possibility. I mean, that's where I go to get some peace and quiet from the kids. Oh who am I kidding, my kids are ages 5-11 and they STILL don't give me privacy while I'm doing my business. Not even when I hear their steps coming down the hall and I yell, "PRIVACY!!!!!" before they get there. It's like... "I was in the room with you for 2 hours and you didn't need me, and all of the sudden I disappear for 5 minutes and the house is on fire?!" And it's not just the kids, it's the cats too! All four inside cats are no where to be found, but the minute I sit down on the toilet, I have four cats inside my bathroom, staring at me like I'm supposed to entertain them.
And somehow this whole rant started with Elvis.

Source: usmagazine

Now, to cheer you up from my possibly disturbing rant (depending on who you are and what disturbs you), here is Holland's polka-loving Rinus and his pregnant girlfriend Romana, doing what they do best. You're welcome.

Source: DListed

And now it's time for, You've been smartPHOWNED!!!

Source: smartphowned via Mr. Ginger

Today's FAIL is actually a WIN in my book. RIP Grandpa!

epic fail photos - Garage Sale Sign FAIL
see more funny videos, and check out our Yo Dawg lols!

Hey, WTF??!! Ok, I thought that Sir Topham Hat looked the type to run a brothel. Where did they get this shirt? And why is a kid wearing it? Cause I WANT THAT SHIRT.

fashion fail - I Always Thought Sir Topham Hatt Looked a Little Pimpish
see more Poorly Dressed

Well, that's all the time I have for today. I just reminded myself about the deadbolt I've been meaning to install on my bathroom door. One that can't be opened by my kids or my cats. Until tomorrow then...

The CIA tried to use cats as spies.

In the 1960s, the CIA spent 5 years working on the technology to implant listening devices into a cat and train her to covertly listen in on conversations. The cat was rigged with a microphone in her ear and an antenna running down her back. Because of the cat’s small size the transmitter was not equipped with a bigger long-lasting battery. This meant that the cat could only record conversations for a short time. In addition to that minor inconvenience, the cat also performed very poorly in its first field test. The spy-cat was hit by a car en route to a Soviet meeting place.



  1. Ok, now I want a spy cat.....

    Was that video meant as a joke or a sexy polka? I'm really confused and I need these feelings sorted out after watching that.

  2. Jamie, Huffington Post says that guy from Holland is mentally challenged, as I suspect his girlfriend is as well. (and possibly their soon to be offspring) But there is not denying they're happy and clearly enjoying their polka party. And if you search on You Tube, you'll find that's not their only video. ;)

  3. Oh, now I feel like jerk. That is a happy polka! I hope their child will be a Mensa member...