In the news, a couple was shopping, when the man decided to put his girlfriend's pink pistol in the waistband of his pants. In the front. Where the gun went off and shot his hee haw. Perhaps the ol' survival of the fittest is trying to kick in and make sure this guy doesn't reproduce. Just saying.
Jessica Alba gave birth to her second daughter this weekend totally stole my 11 & 1/2 year old son's name for her new baby. (Haven) I'm not very happy about this people. When I named my kids, I made sure their names were somewhere in the 700 range for most popular baby name on the Social Security Baby Name Census. And now a bunch of people who like Jessica Alba (wait, are there people that like her?) are going to now name their babies "Haven" and then there will be a whole horde of Havens and my son's name won't be special anymore. *pouts* Yes, I'm fully aware that Angelina Jolie's brother's middle name is "Haven", which he uses as a last name, but none of us even knew who he was until the 2002 Oscars where he and his sis kissed on the lips, and by then my son was 2 years old, so as far as I'm concerned, I own the rights to the name thankyouverymuch. My son happens to love his unique name and I'm sure when I tell him some famous person named their daughter Haven, it will make him fall into a deep depression that will require years of therapy. So Jessica, thank you for screwing up my son's life and causing me thousands of dollars in future therapy. If there's still time to change the baby's name legally, I suggest you do it now.
I mean, congratulations on your new baby.
Ladies and gents, it was bound to happen, though I'm sure many of us wondered if it really would. Lady Gaga has gone out in public wearing... NORMAL CLOTHING. I'm not sure what to really think of this. I think this has to be a sign of the end times. Yep, nothing else even remotely makes sense as to why this phenomenon occurred.
Dear sir, who is a fan of the band "Slayer" or Sarah Michelle Gellar: Next time you decide to get a tattoo, make sure your tattoo artist is sober, and not in a moving car during the procedure. Sincerely, me.
P.S. That's permanent.
It's just like I keep telling my daughter (who is African), THIS is what happens when you don't comb out the hair every day. Gotta stay on top of the hair, or else the hair will stay on top of you.
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Hey, WTF??!! No wonder they have that "No Diving" sign on the edge. That patch of grass is definitely not safe to dive into.
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And that's all the time I have for today. I'm going to be busy organizing petitions for Jessica Alba to change her baby's name, so I better get on that. Or perhaps I should just go ahead and change my son's name. I think Aberforth or Angus would be nice. I'll go discuss this with him. In the meantime, here's something I think you should know...
The 2,000 residents of the island nation of Niue are in for an awesome surprise - a...”Niue hope,” if you will. Beginning in November, all Nieueans will have the opportunity to spend silver currency from a galaxy far, far away. As the island is a self-governing nation in free association with New Zealand, the coins will be worth $2 New Zealand dollars. Only 7,500 of each style will be produced, with eight varieties in one-ounce silver coins and another ten coming in silver-plated metal. Though these coins are actually worth money on the island, you probably won’t see them changing hands too frequently, as they are both really cool and have a silver content worth much more than $2 NZD.