In the news, a decision has been made to allow the postal worker, who took a crap in someone's yard after delivering the mail, to keep his job. (picture taken by neighbor who thought the post office worker was acting suspiciously) He will just be assigned a different route.
You know why he wasn't fired right? Everyone knows you just don't fire postal workers. They go postal! Already the man is willing to take a crap in someone's yard. Believe me, they are better off just reassigning him. Maybe give him a raise. Anything to keep the crap-dropping guy happy.
In the This-Doesn't-Surprise-Us-At-All News, Aaron Carter is now admitting that when he was 15, and spending a night alone with Michael Jackson, Michael gave him wine and cocaine. Honestly, I think the only thing about Michael Jackson that would surprise us is if we heard a young girl was invited to one of his late night parties. Yes, yes, he was an amazing artist but which one of you would let your little boys spend the night with him? Yeah, that's what I thought.
And now, this male cheerleader at China's Shandong University shows the other girls how it's done. He's good. And knows how to work a female cheerleading uniform. Work it!
It's time for Friday FAIL. Though I don't know that this is so much a FAIL, as it is a prediction, if you eat the Teriyaki Bowl. That is why they changed the name to Teriyaki Bowel.
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And that's all the time I have for today. Be careful this holiday weekend and remember to not wear overly flammable clothing when you're lighting your illegal fireworks. I'll take the holiday off myself and see you back here on Tuesday. Until then, here is some very important information you must know before you face the weekend...
Do-mo a-ri-ga-to. Kon-ni-chi-wa. Ka-wa-sa-ki. The Japanese language features five vowel phonemes: /a/, /i/, /u/, /e/, and /o/. Not only do all of its words end in vowels, all of its SYLLABLES end in them (unless they end in 'N')! Unlike in English, these lengthened open vowels are crucial in differentiating between words. Each of these syllables are stressed equally, and most begin with a consonant. Sa-yo-na-ra.