Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Feeling Crabby

Titillating Tuesday to you all, my little gingersnaps! Some people are double jointed. Some people can roll their tongues. And others, can spray you with breastmilk as a defense mechanism. Kind of like an octopus and ink, but not really.

Ohio Deputies learned that first hand when they tried to arrest a woman after a domestic dispute with her husband following a wedding. The agitated woman (who was clearly lactating) exposed her chest and sprayed the deputies with breast milk. That's totally a neat trick. I breastfed my firstborn for 11 months and I never had the ability to spray on demand. *shrugs* Though I can roll my tongue. I wonder if miss milk-sprayer can do that.

Source: aolnews

Speaking of TMI, Florence Henderson would like us all to know that years ago, while she was married, she had a one night stand with the New York Mayor, John Lindsay, who in turn gave her crabs. After she told him, he sent her flowers and an apology card. I wonder if Hallmark makes the "I'm sorry I gave you crabs" card.

How about some good passive-aggressive notes? This deli was clearly fed up with people coming in to use the restroom without buying food...

From the NON-public restroom inside a deli in Bishop, California:

Wow! This place is awesome! The food is great! That is what you should be saying if you bought something. But instead you're starting to feel guilty about free loading on our rest room. Maybe the

And for more toilet troubles, apparently there is an epidemic among tanning salons across the world, where the patrons have to pee, and decide to urinate in the waste basket instead of going to the restroom. That's why I don't go to tanning beds. Not really, I don't go because I'm a ginger and I avoid UV rays at all costs.

Exhibit A) From Margo in Indiana:

Health Notice Toilet Issues The Tanning Room is not a Restroom!  It is extremely dangerous for A Total Tan employees to clean up trash cans and under rugs that people have used instead of the public toilet. This will no longer be tolerated!  A Total Tan has a computer record of everyone using each tanning room. In the future, using the tanning room as a toilet will not be tolerated. This will be very embarrassing to you!  It is not embarrassing for us to restart your bed if you need to stop before or during your session. Simply put on your clothes and ask the employee to stop your session.

Exhibit B) From Lisa in Ohio, an ominous threat indeed:

These cans are for trash only. We inspect between each visit. For everything else we have bathrooms. Violators will have their tanning rights terminated.

Exhibit C) From Emily in England:

NOTICE  We have a toilet for your convenience.  Persons found urinating in the bins will barred from these premises.

Exhibit D) From Ann in Arkansas:

Use our bathroom facilities! This is not the wilderness.

And Exhibit E) From an anonymous fake-baker in Louisiana:

The trash can is not a toilet. For those of you who have not 'peed' in it, Thanks! For the one who did; What were you thinking? Tabatha

When you're the Staff General Manager at Legoland, you should expect stunts like this. Let's hope this manager doesn't take this as a sign his staff has too much time on their hands, and assign them extra duties.

It's time for a FAIL! Congratulations on being the only one in your family to graduate!

epic fail photos - Graduation FAIL
see more funny videos, and check out our Yo Dawg lols!

Hey, WTF??!! I can't think of a better sign to keep away the atheists. However it might encourage more baptists to park in their lot.

And that's all the time I have for today. What awesome skill can you do? Can you spray breastmilk at arresting cops? Do the splits? Say the alphabet backwards in less than 5 seconds? Leave a comment and let me know. And until tomorrow, here's something I think we all need to know...

Weird Al Yankovic was valedictorian of his high school class.

The fact that Al is a smart guy comes as no surprise - he has a way with words rarely seen before in the world of parody. What makes this feat even more impressive is that Yankovic was actually two years younger than most of his classmates. This is because Al entered kindergarten a year early and later skipped second grade (‘weird’...i know.)! Despite the fact that the majority of his peers were two years his senior, Al managed straight A’s throughout high school, partially because he had no interest in sports or social events.



  1. I can make this really loud sound with my toenails.

    that's kinda uneventful and weird.

    I can also uhh OH YEAH YEAH...I can stretch my arms back behind me to a crazy length and I can pop my elbow joints and knees by bending them a certain degree.

  2. I wasted most of a day last week scrolling through the archives at PA Notes - SO much more entertaining than working!

    Are you still following any Twilighty stuff??? There's always room for a Twilighty reunion post at Twitarded (I still miss you guys - lol)... : )

    : )

  3. I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue..lol

  4. James, your toenails scare me.

    Snarkier than you, thanks so much! That sure would be fun.

    Lisa, JEALOUS!!!

  5. Oh man, I could totally see myself using my breastmilk as a weapon! Genius!