Masterful Monday, my little gingersnaps!! I'm back and better than ever! That's right, in a week's time I went from having a -8.5 prescription to having 20/15 vision. (for those of you who don't know what that means, it means I can read the really tiny line under the 20/20 chart.
I'm grateful my mom helped take care of me while I was recuperating, though I won't miss the sponge baths. Okay, there were no sponge baths, but she did pick up Dunkin Donuts and Steak and Shake for me (which we don't have in Los Angeles) and that goes pretty far on the "nurturing" scale.
But, I'm glad to be back in the land of the fruits and nuts, reunited with my family. Mr. Ginger is simultaneously thrilled my sight is so amazing, and peeved I can now see better than him. Did you guys have a nice Easter? Me? After church, lunch and egg hunts, I celebrated by decorating my very own giant Easter Bunny. She loved it.
Now you guys know I like my weird stories, right? Well it turns out the king of weird stories comes from my very own home state of Florida. I'm afraid I can't take any credit for that, all I can do is spread the word.
Florida: America's Weirdest State
It's the retirement hub discovered by a Spaniard rumored to have lost his life hunting for the legendary Fountain of Youth.
It's the only place in America where the farther north you go, the farther south you get.
Florida is undeniably a quirky place. But among many journalists and news junkies, the Sunshine State has developed a reputation for being the state that generates the most weird news and the weirdest weird news.
How did a state once famous for its oranges and seniors turn into a hub for all things strange?
According to Florida resident and weird news legend Chuck Shepherd, Florida emerged as a weird news capital a little more than a decade ago.
Shepherd -- credited with inventing weird news reporting in his widely syndicated "News of the Weird" column -- said he knew Florida had come into its own in the late 1990s, when the San Francisco alternative newspaper SF Weekly featured a story on men who surgically remove their sexual organs; two of the paper's three sources were Floridians.
"When a San Fran writer on sexual aberrations has to buy a ticket to the 'F' state to fill out his story, we have a winner," he told AOL News.
Florida historian Gary Mormino agrees that the Sunshine State overtook California as "the new capital of weirdness" in the 1990s or 2000s.
"The rationale used to be that America tilted toward the west and all the nuts rolled to California," said Mormino, a history professor at the University of South Florida St. Petersburg. "Now, perhaps, there's been a tectonic shift and America tilts toward the southeast."
For many Americans, that shift first became noticeable in 2000, when Florida bizarrely hurled itself onto the national stage in the aftermath of the contested presidential election.
In the years since, analysis of Associated Press stories has identified Florida as the nation's strangest state, while popular websites like Gawker.com have turned the Sunshine State into a punchline.
Readers of Fark.com categorize news stories with descriptive tags, including "asinine," "obvious," "weird" and "interesting." The only state honored with its own tag is Florida, a keyword on the site since 2001.
"Newest Florida bumper sticker: My honor student pistol-whipped me," read one snarky headline assigned a Florida tag last month.
"Fark put it up, thinking it would be a temporary thing, but we quickly discovered that there were more than enough strange things happening in Florida to warrant the tag," said Tony Deconinck, a Fark admin and AOL Weird News contributor. "Other states have odd stories come out of them, but no state can challenge Florida. It's the heavyweight champion of weirdness."
Here at AOL Weird News, journalists have written more weird news stories about Florida than any other state -- and with pieces about a mom accused of driving her son's getaway car, an orthodontist who repairs turtle shells, bags of stolen dildos, and a bikini brawl at a Burger King -- it's safe to say we're doing it for good reason.
Though Florida only recently achieved recognition for producing so much weird news, the state has an odd history dating back centuries.
From Spanish colonization through American statehood, Florida played host to a variety of eccentric characters and strange happenings, like the "wreckers" who turned Key West into one of the continent's wealthiest communities by legally plundering sinking ships and auctioning their cargo.
But according to Mormino, the Florida we know today -- a "fast-paced and over-the-top" place that is, in many ways, the least southern state in the South -- only emerged in the 1920s.
"You had the wealthy building homes in Miami Beach," Mormino said. "There were the 'Tin Can Tourists' -- the respectable middle class and the working poor -- coming to Florida for the first time in automobiles. That was the beginning of the alligator farms, ostrich farms; the start of the crazy tourist destinations."
That's also when a speculative real estate bubble inflated and burst, setting the bar, in many ways, for a culture of lax regulation that continues in Florida even today.
With a history of lenient divorce laws, it's no surprise that Panama City, among other Florida communities, tops national charts as a divorce capital.
Meanwhile, Florida's "homestead exemption" has long protected private property from creditors, making Florida a place where the bankrupt and highly indebted -- including celebs like O.J. Simpson -- have shielded their assets.
Florida has even advertised its bizarre legal loopholes with the iconic 1980s tourism slogan "Florida: The Rules Are Different Here."
Indeed they are. (This is the state where lawmakers are still struggling to pass a bill that would make bestiality illegal.)
I'm guessing bestiality has a pretty good lobby there??? WTF?
Moving on, the geniuses at Old Spice are trying out a new spokesperson in a new commercial. No, that doesn't mean they got rid of Isaiah Mustafa, and after you see this commercial, I think you'll agree it's a good thing he wasn't in this commercial.
Hugh Hefner left his velvet robe at home and went to Disneyland with his future child bride. He apparently decided to use a scooter to get around, and by the looks of it, he's trying to keep his mouth tightly shut to keep his teeth from flying out. (wise thinking, Hef) No word on if he actually thought he was captaining a ship instead of driving a little rascal. (I'm talking about the SCOOTER people. Ewwww. You perverts need to stop.)
In other news, Antoine Dodson of the "hide yo kids, hide yo wife" fame was arrested for pot possession. Obviously he forgot to add the "hide yo pot" at the end of his rant-turned-viral-video. I'm not even going to get into what the h...e... double hockey sticks he's wearing. Or more importantly why. Or maybe that's where the pot comes in.
'Bed Intruder' Star Antoine Dodson Arrested
In the early morning hours Saturday, original 'Bed Intruder' star Antoine Dodson was arrested.
Police in Huntsville, Ala., booked the viral video star on a misdemeanor charge of possession of marijuana; he was in custody a short time, according to TMZ, and released.
Dodson, 24, was charged with other misdemeanors as well: Speeding, failing to appear twice on a traffic charge and failing to have liability insurance.
When a reporter first put him on the air during a local news broadcast in 2010, Dodson said he'd witnessed an attempted sexual assault on his sister -- and he adamantly warned viewers 'Hide your kids, hide your wife' from the attacker. A viral sensation was born.
"Hunger Games" fans will be glad to know they have now cast an actress in the role of Primrose Everdeen, Katniss' younger sister. She's cute in an I-have-a-monobrow kind of way. What am I saying? Monobrows aren't cute. Wow I can be so mean sometimes. How do you guys even put up with me? I'm right about the monobrow thing, though, aren't I? That's what I thought.
And now it's time for... DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT!!!!
Hmm... mine didn't come with an owner's manual (which is perhaps why they are selling them) but somehow I've been able to figure out everything just fine on my own. Maybe it has something to do with my higher than average intelligence? *shrugs*
And that's all the time I have for today. Do something special for yourself today. Even if that means hopping over to Amazon and purchasing that owner's manual, you know, if you have one and don't know what to do with it. And if you don't have one, or know what to do with yours, find another way to treat yourself today. Perhaps candy or a backrub. Until tomorrow then...
Men with ring fingers that are longer than their index fingers are likely to have been exposed to more testosterone before birth.
The correlation of this digit ratio to prenatal hormone levels has long been common knowledge, but a recent study has taken this information a step further. A recent study published in Discover Magazine claims that women tend to be more attracted to men with higher ring-to-index-finger ratios. Or in other words, the longer the ring finger in comparison to the index, the more attractive a man’s face is rated. A interesting thing to note, however, was that women in the study did not show a preference for smells or voices of these males with longer ring fingers. This implies that such characteristics are more dependant on circulating levels of adult testosterone than levels of the hormone imparted on males while still in the womb.