Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Granny Dearest

Wavering Wednesday to you all, my little gingersnaps! We're back to Florida in the news today, where a woman found a 7 foot alligator in her bathroom. It hissed at her when she screamed, and her boyfriend barricaded the gator in the bathroom with a small table until authorities could remove it. They believe it entered the house through the doggy door. A DOGGY DOOR. It entered the freakin' house with a DOGGY DOOR. That's just messed up.

Confession: I have a weird obsession with alligators. I love them (as long as they don't play football). I watch every alligator show I find and when I visit Orlando, Gatorland is top on the list of places to visit. Which is why I purchased a shellacked alligator head at the Gatorland gift shop as a souvenir. I know, I know... it's all kinds of wrong, like the stuffed rattlesnake I used to have in my childhood room. I won't even get into my rattlesnake head earrings, cause that's getting off topic. But it was a freakin' gator head people! How could I pass that up? I think it will go on the bookshelf in the family room.

Oh come on... you should not be surprised by this if you've been reading this blog for any length of time. You know I'm... different. You can blame my hunter, gun-toting dad for that.

Source: apnews

Speaking of relatives, Gwyneth Paltrow was on the Chelsea Lately show and was talking about how evil her Grandmother was, even going so far as to call her the C-word. Based on her description, Gwyneth and I may have had the same Grandma, but calling her the C-word? O_o Funny both our Grandmothers were German. Maybe it's a German thing, ya?

Incidentally, I could write a entire blog about my Grandmother and the "stories" she told. Like the time she got pregnant when my Grandfather was away working on the railroad. She told him she fell on a coal shovel and got pregnant. Oh yes she did. AND HE BELIEVED HER. Did I mention my Grandfather was Autistic? Sadly, the baby was a stillborn, but what can you expect from a 1/2 coal shovel baby anyway? So however I turned out, it apparently runs generations deep, my friends. Though thankfully I have not encountered any virile coal shovels.

Source: popeater

When J.K. Rowling was on Oprah, she said while she didn't plan to continue the Harry Potter series, she could see herself writing an 8th and 9th book. A frantic Daniel Radcliffe texted her to see if she really was going to continue writing the HP series. She told him not to worry, and that she was so pleased with his performance in HP 7, as a reward she promises not to write another book about Harry. So... I'm thinking... how about a book about Ron-Ron? Oh you know he can totally carry a gingeriffic series on his own. Bloody Hell!

Source: popeater

What do you get the person who has everything? Why a Facial Flex, to strengthen their facial muscles. What is the purpose? I don't really know, but I do know you should watch the demonstration, because it's all kinds of WIN.

Source: dlisted

And now it's time for some racially inappropriate SmartphOWNED!!!

Source: smartphowned

Hey, WTF??!!

Oh wow. I sure hope their love is as everlasting as those tattoos are. Nice how the shading around the names looks like they beat each other up. So romantic. I bet their parents are proud.

And that's all the time I have for today, my friends. If you have a company fridge, go in and switch the names on all the food containers. Your co-workers will surely love the prank and will laugh with you when they find you are responsible. Though just to be safe, you may want to remain anonymous. Until tomorrow, the Darwin award goes to this guy...

A murderer was caught because he tattooed the crime scene on his chest.

Thankfully, an LA homicide investigator was reviewing snapshots of gang member’s tattoos. He saw a tattoo on a young gang member that was brought in on a minor offense that reminded him of an unsolved 2004 liquor store shooting that he had investigated earlier. That gang member, Anthony Garcia, had arrogantly decided to go further than merely returning to the scene of the crime. He instead opted to permanently honor his “accomplishment” by plastering the crime scene on his chest, along with a depiction of the victim falling down, a street sign mentioning the address, and a reference to his gang.

-OMG Facts


1 comment:

  1. That woman with the mouth thing is freaking creepy and I think she was drunk, or stoned or Wow.
    The best way to destroy a relationship is to get their named tattooed on your