Malevolent Monday to you all, my gingersnaps. Did you miss me? Thank you for being so patient while I recovered from my recent pet loss. The family and I are doing much better now. Anything I missed while I was gone? While you're pondering that question, I'll move on to the news.
A Minnesota man, who was an employee at Pizza Hut apparently got drunk, decided he wanted some chicken wings, so he let himself into the restaurant after hours and attempted to fry some up himself. Of course he tripped the alarm while he let himself in.
Something tells me he will need a new job now. Wonder if he can put "has ability to fry up chicken wings while intoxicated" on his resume.
Congratulations to David and Victoria Beckham, who just revealed that they are in fact having a girl. I wonder if they realize female children bring drama of epic proportions to the family.
This just in... Charlie Sheen does not (I repeat) does NOT have Tiger blood.
But he does have winning recipes, courtesy of Funny or Die.
And now it's time for PARENT'S SHOULDN'T TEXT!
I don't think this tattoo is winning. Does the guy realize this is as permanent as Charlie Sheen's psychosis? Maybe that's the point.
And that's all the time I have for today. Remember... if it's yellow let it mellow... if it's brown, flush it down. And on that note...