Thunderous Thursday, my little gingersnaps. I know you hear it never rains in Southern California, but today that is proven false. Time to grab the kids and hide in the house, safe and warm from the scary, wet outdoors. Actually, when my kids were younger, whenever it rained they would rush to the windows and shout that it was raining, then sit there and stare at the strange phenomenon going on outside. #truestory
You ever find yourself in NY wishing you could find a condom? Yeah me neither. But for those who have, NY health officials have launched an iPhone app that can help horny (and cheap) NY'ers find free condoms in snazzy packages at various locations and times. The app also offers tips on condom usage. Yes I just said "tips" on "condom" usage. Their words, not mine. Although I'll gladly take credit for it.
In annoying reality
whore star news, Paris Hilton was given a $375,000 car for her 30th birthday by her boyfriend. Uh, anyone else notice how staged this gift seems to be? I don't know... maybe it's the mic pack she's wearing that tipped me off. So Paris is 30 already? Wow, she's accomplished so much by age 30. And I'm not just talking about the things that require medication and have occasional outbreaks. I mean, not many of us can claim to have accomplished fame through a sex tape at such a young age. Something for our young daughters to aspire to. And maybe someday their boyfriends will give them $375,000 cars for their birthdays too.
Kelsey Grammer's divorce is final and he has a full two weeks of bachelorhood before he walks down the aisle with his new lady. Here they are on Valentine's Day at JFK airport. I'm no body language expert but...
And the winner for the best product name I've seen all week goes to the folks at Bébé au Lait for their breastfeeding blanket named the "Hooter Hider". I only wish I had thought of it first.
For the record, I'm in complete support for women who want to breastfeed, even breastfeed in public, but please ladies... use a Hooter Hider! No one needs to see your boobies hanging out while you nurse. Yes I'm speaking to you, my neighbor across the street who whips your hooters out in front of my husband when you come over to our house and nurse your baby. I don't care that your culture is comfortable with that. It's traumatizing. For me. We're sitting there, having a nice conversation and then you whip your boob out and all I can think is, wow... your areola is so much darker than mine... and HEY! That's totally uncomfortable cause I don't want to know how much darker your areolas are than mine. *trying very hard to maintain eye contact so I don't look at your areolas again*
If I was still breastfeeding, I would've totally bought this just for the name. You know, just so I could call it my Hooter Hider and bring it up at dinner parties and such. Yes, enough about that stimulus package, did you see the pattern of my latest Hooter Hider?
Do you mind passing the butter while I get out my Hooter Hider? I just love how my Hooter Hider hides my hooters!
Unfortunately they missed the opportunity to have fun with the name in the commercial. This lady doesn't even snicker once when saying "Hooter Hider". *sigh*
And now it's time for... DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT!!!
see more Poorly Dressed
Somehow I don't think this is what Katy Perry was thinking about when she sang, "California Girls".
And that's all the time I have for today. Practice one random act of mischievousness today (preferably on someone who lacks a sense of humor and has anxiety issues) and report back to me. In the meantime, I think it's about time you knew about this...