Theatrical Thursday to you all, my little gingersnaps! In case you're paying attention to comments, the winner from "I Am Number Four" has yet come forward. I'll give the winner until the end of the day and if I don't hear from them, I'll draw a new winner to announce on Friday. *wiggles eyebrows*
In the news, a *cough* man *cough* is seeking the protection of the police from his sex-crazed wife of 18 years. He's fathered two children with her, and even taken to the couch for the past four years but that's not enough to keep his wife from demanding that they
bump uglies fulfill his marital duties. Apparently he is too exhausted from her demands and wants to divorce her so he can arrive to work well rested. He's now seeking protection from the police so he can get some sleep at night.
Let's see if I get this right... his wife, who popped out two of HIS kids and lived with him for 18 years still wants to get it on regularly, and he's so exhausted he calls the police to get protection from her so he can get a full night's rest???
Uh... someone needs to find this guy's "man" card and revoke it. Or slap him with a dead fish. Or both. Do I hear a collective roar of frustration from married men reading this article? I thought so. Weirdo.
Some of you may have seen this video. It's mall video surveillance of a lady texting on her phone, who walks right into the mall fountain. She completely falls in, abruptly gets out and walks away as if nothing happened. The people you hear are the security people laughing while watching this video over and over again, and from different angles.
But now that the video is leaked... the texting lady has come out and plans to sue. That's right. Because security was laughing at the video and no one came down to check and see if she was alright. (perhaps she doesn't remember that she immediately got out of the fountain and walked away) Anyway, she's mad that the clip was leaked and while mall security thinks it's not a big deal because you can't see her face, she says she already had one person from her church call to ask if she was alright because she recognized "her walk". Uh, say what? You mean, her-eyes-on-her-cell-phone-while-texting "walk"? Well, apart from that one freaky lady from her church that recognized her walk, no one else knew what she looked like until she went public with her ridiculous plans to sue, and now WE ALL KNOW what she looks like. Hey miss texting-while-walking, if you fall into a fountain because you're texting and not looking where you're going, Imma gonna laugh. Cause it's funny. Sincerely, me.
News has come out that when Jerry Bruckheimer sent out the casting call for Mermaids on the 4th installment of "Pirates of the Caribbean", he specified that all applicants must have iNatural boobs. Because, as he put it, "I don't think they had breast augmentation in the 1700's".
No, Mr. Bruckheimer, I don't think they did have breast augmentation in the 1700's, but I'm also fairly certain they didn't have mermaids in the 1700's either if you want to get that technical. *shrugs*
Hey, The Old Spice guy is back! And instead of showing you the new commercials, you get to stare into those beautiful brown eyes and see the commercials played back as he's remembering them. That is, if you can get past those beautiful brown eyes. I couldn't.
And now it's time for... DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT!!!!
I thought you were only supposed to use those once... ah... see, it was just a misunderstanding. You silly autocorrect feature, you!
see more Poorly Dressed
I think it's time for that lady to change her bag. No I think it's time for that lady to PUT ON SOME DAMN PANTS SO WE DON'T ALL HAVE TO KNOW WHEN SHE NEEDS TO CHANGE HER BAG. *sigh* Some things can't be unseen. For that, I am sorry.
And that's all the time I have for today, today's assignment is... "fluffy". Go and report back and I'll see you in the morning. Until then, here something that is sure to knock your Harry Potter socks off. What? I'm the only one that wears HP socks? Surely not.