Friday, December 10, 2010

Twilight Jesus

Fancy Friday to you all, my gingersnaps! Any exciting plans for the weekend? *wiggles eyebrows* My kids have their Kung Fu Holiday party this weekend. And you probably didn't even think ninjas celebrated Christmas. Well they do, and since I have three kids enrolled, I'll be bringing THREE DISHES to the potluck. *bangs head against the wall* If you're just dying of curiosity, I'm bringing Mac N' Cheese, my famous Guacamole, and my even famous-er shortbread chocolate chip cookies with a hershey's kiss inside, drizzled with (purple) icing on top.

Side note: I happened to make those cookies for our son's birthmom when she first met us (and was still pregnant). I'm not going to say she chose us to parent her baby because of those cookies... but... probably so. She asks about those cookies almost every time she comes over to hang out with us. (I've made them for her several times since) When she comes over for Christmas this year I'm going to surprise her with a batch. Unless of course she's reading this and then I totally just ruined the surprise.

The weather in Kiester, Minnesota is a partly cloudy 34 degrees today. Perhaps when they were naming the city, the city council members were tired of sitting on their kiesters while trying to come up with a name, someone mentioned their kiester, and the intellectually challenged person in charge of taking the minutes of the meeting inadvertently named the town "Keister". That's my theory anyway. One place you will be sitting on your kiester for a while is the 405 this morning. It is Friday and even more bumper to bumper than usual. In my world, that last sentence was grammatically correct.

In the news, a Texas woman was jailed for having overdue library books. Man, they don't mess around in Texas. The library requested the books several times, but the woman insisted her books and all her possessions perished in a house fire seven years ago. Her landlord, fire department and even the Red Cross have all backed up her claims. But still, police knocked on her door the day before Thanksgiving Day and hauled her off to jail.

I think the moral of this story is to forget everything they taught you about running out of the house in case of fire. If you happen to live in Texas and have library books and your house is on fire, you better make sure you don't come out of that burning house without your library books. Or the librarians will throw the book at you. Ok, even I know that was bad.

Source: aolnews

Here's your first look at the drunken, possibly gay pirate that Disney executives hate, in the latest installment of Pirates Of The Caribbean! A little sad that it won't have Pirate Orlando Bloom, but you know I'll see it anyway. I'm a sucker for gingers and pirates. Wait a minute... what if they ever made a film about a ginger pirate? I might spontaneously combust. Yeah, never mind. It's probably best that never happens.

Source: JustJared

Speaking of drunken pirates, A&E has officially pulled the plug on "The Hoff", which was David Hasselhoff's new reality show, after just two episodes had aired. I think Joel McHale and The Soup will probably be most upset by this decision. Just think of all the great clips they could've featured.

Source: DListed

And now it's time for... DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT!!!!


And speaking of Jews, here's the brilliant band "The Maccabeats" singing a new hilarious song about Hanukkah, called "Candlelight".

‪Candlelight - The Maccabeats - Hanukkah‬

Hey, WTF??!!

Thanks Sarah!

Ok, I'm a self-declared lover of almost everything glittery, but I...I....n-no....y-you c-can't... w-what is this...I-I don't even understand. Unless Jesus is a Mormon vampire that steps into the sunlight, He should not sparkle. NOPE. *looking at you Borders for selling this monstrosity* I-I c-can't even support the p-purple one.

And that's all the time I have for today. Have yourselves a merry little weekend. I'll be back, bright and early on Monday with tales of holiday ninjas and you do the same. Before I go, I'll leave you with some welcome news that should carry you through the weekend...

-OMG Facts



  1. Sparkle Jesus seems like its either a one way ticket to hell or a sure fire way to get glitter on your angel wings.

    And as for the library, I wonder if Chuck Norris does their arrests.

  2. Once I saw the title of this post, I knew it was going to be those creepy sparkly Jesus's they have at Borders! They are so weird! They have sparkly Marys as well. So. Wrong.

    And, there was a ginger pirate in Dodge Ball as played by Alan Tudyk...

    OMG, the Hanukkah song is fantastic! Love it! "I flip my latkes in the air sometimes...singing eh oh!" that's going to be in my head all day! :)

  3. Oh sweet sparkly Jesus! Lol
    Yeah I cant think of anything else, Im still

  4. i was thinking that maybe ron .. from harry potter...( unlike you i never know the names) since he has done with his ron rolls...can do a pirate movie...just for you..have you ever thought about taking acting classes...he probably needs a ginger co star...

  5. Tame One, Bwahahahaha re: Sparkly Jesus! And I was thinking the SAME thing about Chuck Norris. (scary)

    MJ's Doghouse, you're a genius! I need to play opposite Rupert Grint (Ron) as my ginger pirate!! I wonder if he likes married women with kids.