Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Gay and Jolly Pirates

Well, well, Wednesday, my gingersnaps! You guys rocked it yesterday in the comments. I adored each and every random fact you gave me. Yay for more lurkers de-lurking! I think we should do that once a month.

The weather in Gay Head, Massachusetts is a rainy 56 degrees today. Really, Gay Head? That's gotta be fun to explain when you're telling people your address. Yes, just ship to Gay Head. Can heads be gay? *shrugs* I wouldn't say the 405 is gay, since traffic is going both directions, O_0 but you can expect bumper to bumper traffic today in your morning commute.

In the news, a NY man held up the owners of a pizzeria and left with a bag of dough... not $$ dough but pizza dough. Perhaps they were hungry? Wanted to make their own pizzas? Or maybe just really really stupid.

Source: apnews

Johnny Depp is featured in this month's issue of Vanity Fair, where he talks about how Disney executives hated his portrayal of Jack Sparrow.

Source: DListed

He says about Disney: “They couldn’t stand him. They just couldn’t stand him. I think it was Michael Eisner, the head of Disney at the time, who was quoted as saying, ‘He’s ruining the movie.’ Upper-echelon Disney-ites, going, What’s wrong with him? Is he, you know, like some kind of weird simpleton? Is he drunk? By the way, is he gay?… And so I actually told this woman who was the Disney-ite… ‘But didn’t you know that all my characters are gay?’ Which really made her nervous.

Seriously??? Jack Sparrow is the best thing about those movies! If it weren't for him, they wouldn't have had the success they've had. Just one more thing to confirm that Disney is stupid. Once again I'll remind you that this blog is a dictatorship and any opinion stated by me is not open for discussion unless you are going to agree with me.

So Madonna just opened a high end (read: expensive) gym in Mexico City, since that's what Mexicans really need right now. But I don't even care about that. I want to talk about her cheeks from the picture of the gym opening. I know, I know... I've talked about them before, but her chicken cutlet cheeks are just so ridiculous. I think they're actually growing bigger. Check out the pre-chicken-cutlet Madonna vs. current Madonna.

What's she hiding in those anyway? Nuts for the winter? Madonna, there is no awesomesauce in your chicken cutlet cheeks. Maybe they're goiters.

In reality-show news, Kim Kardashian says when she hit puberty and her breasts were growing, she pleaded with God to stop them from growing even bigger. Yeah, I pray that every night too.

Source: Popeater

Apparently her older sister teased her relentlessly for her growing curves. I think Kourtney and my brother might actually be the same person. Hey, I wouldn't rule it out. I've never seen them in the same room together.

Hey, who has an iPhone, raise your hand! Ok, everyone who doesn't have one... go out and get yourself one. Yes, even you crackberries. Put them down and get an iPhone. Anyway, if you're familiar with iPhones, you'll know that they autocorrect the words you type. Most of the time if you type a wrong letter in a word, it automatically fixes the word for you. Or if you're typing a long word, it finishes it for you. Most of the time autocorrect is a good thing. But sometimes it switches the word to something completely different and you're like WTH? Especially if you hit "send" and don't realize it's changed your word. So of course there's a website now called "Damn You Autocorrect" that features text messages that go horribly wrong when the iPhone switches your word to something different entirely. I think this should be a sometimes feature on here, because this stuff cracks me up. For example...

Source: DamnYouAutoCorrect

Hey, WTF??!!

Source: awkwardfamilyphotos

Nothing captures a classy wedding better than a professional motorboating picture. Did the photographer ask them to pose that way or was that their idea?

And that's all the time I have for you today. Find someone around you and discuss the pros and cons of hairnets today. Come back and report your findings to me. Until then, there's something you should know...

-OMG Facts



  1. Johnny Depp is soo nummy!!! Although, Orlando Bloom make the movies good for me, too.

    I LOVE the DamnYouAutoCorrect site. I laugh so hard I cry reading those posts!!!!

    Oh, I lurve you girl! <3

  2. I love that AutoCorrect website. The first time I looked at that site, I may or may not have laughed so hard that a tiny bit of pee came out (I was 2 weeks post partum...)

    Also, I have not seen any of the Pirates movies. Not a single one.

    You should invite me over to swim in your pool and watch the Pirates movies. I promise I won't laugh so hard I pee on things.

  3. Holy cow!! Captain Sparrow is SO the best part of the Pirates movies!! What was Disney thinking? And that autocorrect site? Freakin' hilarious. Seriously. I almost wet myself. ALMOST. *looks at graceling* ; )

    And yes, as a Crackberry, I am near being converted to iphone-ism. Just waiting for the monies!! And for a different network to offer them. ; )

  4. Today is full of *gigglesnorts* ...

    ...the 405 is not gay.
    ...all of Johnny's characters are gay.
    ...DamnYouAuto correct..HUGE gigglesnort.

    As for one wish is that gorgeous women in Hollywood would stop f'ing up their faces with collagen, fillers and chicken cutlets. You look ri-goddamn-diculous, Madge.

  5. I laughed until I cried this morning reading this. I think they combination of swooning over Johnny and giggling like a crazy girl over the auto-corrects made my headache go away! TRIPLE WIN. I owe you now.

  6. AshleighVegas, well yes... there's Orlando Bloom.... WTH wasn't he in the 4th movie? I don't care that it's a prequel or whatever it is... I want Pirate Orlando Bloom! (and I love you too)

    Graceling, I am soooo inviting you over to swim in mah pool... but I will know if you pee b/c the pool guy told me my salt water pool will have a strong chlorine smell if someone pees in it. O_O And in a few months, Mr. G is going to set up an outdoor projection system so we can watch movies at night by (or in) the pool. FTW!

    Yay for Culinary Contessa... a crackberry that is inching her way to the iPhone. I bet your crackberry doesn't have iFart Mobile app. ;)

    Christine & Tame One... I'm glad I made you laugh and hopefully improved your days. Sounds like it's unanimous (among those that are commenting) that Damn You Autocorrect is a good series to feature on here. Schweet!