Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Equal Rights For Moobies!

Happy Post-Columbus Day to you all! Glad all your ancestors survived his tyranny, which means they weren't occupying the same country that he was at any given time. This is me yesterday to my 5th grader...

"Son, today is Columbus Day, where we celebrate Christopher Columbus discovering America. Except he didn't discover America. And he's responsible for the deaths of 15 million people. He enslaved them and tortured them for fun, so I have no idea why we have a National Holiday where people are off work and off school to celebrate this evil man."

My son's face lights up and says, "We have no school today??!!!! SWEET!" Yep. Homeschooling is going really well, in case you were curious. I think I'm getting through to him.


The weather in Mount Hopeless is a sunny 80 degrees today. Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper, so if you were looking for a faster commute this morning, I'm afraid it's hopeless.


In the news, an old lady accidentally put superglue in her eye instead of her medicated eye drops for her cataracts.


Source: apnews



You know, that's her "story" anyway. I think she was either trying to become a pirate, or perhaps she wanted to remove her cataract herself. O_o Or should I say... O_--


In celebrity news, Sarah Michelle Gellar was spotted at Coral Tree Cafe last week with her daughter Charlotte.


Source: JustJared


What's the significance of this? People, I often meet my girlfriends at Coral Tree Cafe for breakfast!!! There are celebrities there all the time, but if SMG were ever there when I was, I would surely pass out. Really. And yes I do have a lifesize cardboard Buffy in my living room all the time. We call her CB for "Cardboard Buffy" and we take her on vacations with us. Don't believe me?


Here she is at Yosemite National Park with us.



And with the kids...



And again with the kids. Whoa... just noticed where my son's hand is. He better watch it! There will be no seducing of CB on my watch.



Go ahead and picture me hiking through the Redwood Forests with her because that's just what I did. I clearly have no shame. I also brought along Pocket Edward, but that's neither here nor there. He was busy hunting. Mmmm Venison. Nom nom nom.



Ok by now you're thinking I'm truly crazy and my kids will need professional help. Tell me something I don't already know. We live in a purple house, for goodness sake.


Back to SMG... now you understand why I might flip out in her presence when I'm normally cool as a cucumber around celebrities. Like last time I was at Coral Tree, Matt LeBlanc was there. I just took ninja pics of him with my cellphone, but no freaking out.


Speaking of friends... David Schwimmer has just revealed he got married in June. Congrats to the newlyweds!


Source: JustJared


Seriously Mr. Schwimmer is one of the nicest people on the planet. And I'm not just saying that because he was a gracious loser when I beat him at Mario Kart.


Last week Simon Cowell turned 51, and fellow "X Factor" judge Cheryl Cole sent him a present by hiring a little band to serenade him.



Emphasis on "little". Seriously how did she find the musicians... did she go to midgetserenading.com? OMG you people are so mean! You should not encourage me to say things like that. Hey, I just got an idea for a new show to pitch to TLC!


And now it's time for...


Awesome Vintage Ad Of The Day!



Take that, Women's Lib! *runs out and buys some Palmolive*


Hey, WTF??!!!



WTF Pictures and WTF videos by Picture Is Unrelated


Thank goodness they are finally getting around to equal rights and making a bra line exclusively for men! How else are they going to support their Moobies?


And that's all the time I have for today. Go ahead and cheat on your diet today. You have my permission. Calories don't count when I give permission. Knock yourself out. No, I mean knock your co-worker out so you can get to the vending machine first. Until then... here's a little something to chew on...


"Life Savers" were invented in the same year that the Titanic sank

-OMG Facts


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4 comments:

  1. I am crazy jealous of your pocket Edward. I might have to snatch one up and take him with me. Mmmm. You know what I need, a pocket Emmett. Oh yes I do. All the RPG characters in my head are begging for their own pocket sized selves now.

    OH, and High 5 for you on the Columbus thing. I've always wondered why we don't change it to Viking day or Vespucci day. Go on with your bad self taking back American History! Woot!

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  2. I love this!--> O_-- HAHA!

    Who keeps superglue anywhere near eyedrops? Especially when they have cataracts and don't have great eyesight?! Seems like such a bad idea! And, well, it was!

    Oh moobies...sounds like they need the Bro! I love the guy in the ad-covering himself up, like, ooh, don't look at my man chesticles!

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  3. My idiot former bro in law once put nasal drops in his eyes, and they were menthol nasal drops, designed to clear mucus and whatnot...he screamed for hours about the pain. - EricaCullen

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  4. Your kids are so cute! And I love the kid's picture with CB thats great. And I would have loved to see anyone hiking with a cardboard cut out. I would die laughing.
    Loved the vintage ad, nice knowing some things really never change...lol
    The man bra thing is just strange, and the dude in the ad def doesnt need a bra, just saying.

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