Monday, September 13, 2010

Orlando Hates Ponies

Manic Monday to you all! Today starts the new school year for my kids (homeschool) so if I don't show up tomorrow it's because I didn't survive the first day of school. Gah, why can't the kids just teach themselves? Oh yes, not only am I in the running for Mother of the Year, I'm also in the running for Homeschooler of the Year. I think I have a good chance of winning.

The weather in Bam, Iran today is a sunny 89 degrees today. Do they have cloudy days in the Middle East? *Singing* "Wham, Bam, Iran, a man... job or no job you can't tell me that I'm not." What?

Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper so your morning commute promises to be long and uneventful. Bam, said the lady.

Orlando is not a good place to be if you're a big stuffed pony. Apparently someone left the pony in the street near an elementary school. Local residents thought it was placed there to prevent parents of school children from parking there, but local law enforcement took a different approach. Not sure if the Chief of Police has a long vendetta against ponies. Perhaps he was thrown off of one while riding bareback at galloping speed in his youth. Except that was a horse, not a pony. And it was me, not the Chief of Police. Anywho, they sent a robot to inspect the pony. Not finding anything, they went ahead and blew it up, afterwards declaring that it was really just a harmless stuffed pony.

Source: orlandosentinal

I couldn't really be more proud to be an Orlando native.

In celebrity news, Mario Lopez and his girlfriend became parents on Saturday, September 11th. What a great day to give birth, symbolizing hope and life for the future. In all this sentimentality, I almost forget that Mario is as monogamous as Tiger Woods and this sweet girl will most likely grow up in a broken home once his girlfriend has had enough. But hey, check out her beautiful nursery!

Source: JustJared

*staring at the nursery chair fabric* I wonder if her parents realize that babies often spit up. A lot. All over the place. Hope that's washable silk.

And my friends we have another case of inappropriate facial hair at the Premiere for Charlie St. Cloud. Zac Efron, what have you done to yourself??? THIS IS NOT OK!!!! We need to handcuff him to Jake Gyllenhaal and shave them both.

Source: dlisted

In Too-Good-To-Be-True News, Spencer Pratt was arrested in Costa Rica for felony possession of a firearm as he was leaving the country. Seriously. Why did they let him out? Spencer says while he was in Costa Rica, he went into the jungle for some spiritual contemplation, living off the land and having to hunt to survive. Um... okay. I believe him. *shakes head no*

Source: popeater

Spencer says Costa Rica has banned him from ever returning to their country. Why can't they ban him from ever leaving their country? Because that would be awesome.

Hey, WTF??!!!

fashion fails - Baby Got Side Back Boob?
see more Poorly Dressed

When you have back cleavage, it might be a good idea to stay away from backless shirts. #justsaying

And that's all the time I have for today. I'll meet you back here tomorrow, same time... same place. Probably. In the meantime, here is something I think you should know...

In America, lipstick was originally made from an extract of ground-up insects and was applied with a brush.

In the late 19th century, lipstick was made from carmine dye, an extract of mashed up insects. At this time, the wearing of lipstick was considered to be fairly taboo unless the person happened to be an actor or actress.

-OMG Facts



  1. 3 things today...

    1) Um, what type of Hollywood event is it ok to wear your wifebeater? I guess it's allowed as long as ur only a cheater, not a beater? Hmmm...

    2) Dear Zac-i-poo, While I realize it probably took months to grow that Zorro-ish 'stache and chin fuzz, please get rid of it. You look silly. Some boys were just meant to keep the baby face.

    Aaaaaand 3) Lady, don't ever go out of the house again with any skin exposed. Please. Pretty please. I can't unsee those folds or your underwear again. Blech.

  2. Zac...just no. Lose the fuzz. You are way more cute without it. And the lady with the back cleavage. Why in the hell did anyone let you leave the house like that? Good luck with the homeschooling!