Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Naked Chef

Moldy Monday to you all, my little gingersnaps! How was your Labor Day weekend? I'll wait while you tell me in the comments section...


*waiting*


...The weather today in Latex, Texas is a partly cloudy 84 degrees with a chance of showers. Seems to be like Latex in Texas is not a great idea. You know, with it being so hot and sticky there. Unless you're using it to protect your hands from pathogens or other unmentionables from bodily fluids. Did you know I have purple latex gloves? Should you really be surprised by this? One place I hope you don't need to wear latex is on the 405 since the bumper to bumper traffic will cause for delays in your daily commute.


In the news, yesterday hundreds of naked cyclists rode their bikes through Philadelphia to promote bicycling awareness and clean air.


Source: foxnews


Really? They needed to be naked to promote bicycle awareness and clean air? Shouldn't they have just been wearing green shirts made of hemp or something? I should ask my extremely green brother who doesn't read this blog what he thinks. He rides his bike in the Cincinnati snow to work. Because he's green and better than me, who drives my SUV in the Southern California sunshine. I bet his bicycle doesn't have an usb connector for his iPhone to play Lady Gaga at obscene volumes. Weirdo.


Speaking of Lady Gaga... as of this past weekend, I've been completely schooled in the art that is Lady Gaga (thanks to my dear friend @kkjordan) and now I'm drinking the Gaga Kool Aid. But this, Gaga? Really?


Source: dlisted


I'm speaking of a mom and as a Nursing School drop-out when I say, I hope you washed your entire self and all your orifices with antibacterial soap after this photo shoot, Gaga. And then I'm speaking as an omnivore when I say, what did you do with all that good quality meat afterwards? Where's the BBQ?! What?


Joe Jackson would like us all to know that he spanked his son Michael to keep him from joining a gang. And we can thank Joe for Michael's success and non-gang-status.


Source: TMZ


You hear that parents of the world? If you really love your kids, spank them or they will join gangs. Unless you want your kids to join a gang.



Are you as excited as I am about the next Narnia movie??? Probably not, because I'm pretty darn excited. I'm also glad Hollywood decided to take liberties from the book and re-cast hunky Ben Barnes as Prince Caspian because in the book, he only makes an appearance at the end and he's like 100 years old and senile.


Source: JustJared


That's right. I'll take a young Ben Barnes over a 100 year old senile Prince Caspian any day. *wiggles eyebrows*


Hey, WTF??!!!



Wait... didn't I see this lady in the titty bar in the Total Recall movie? And you thought the 3-boob lady was disturbing!


And that's all the time I have for today. Take care and survive your Tuesday as best you can. Usually by stepping on the toes of the little people around you to elevate your own position. Though now that I think about it, stepping on Midgets is probably not a nice thing to do. And with that, just one more thing I'd like you to know...


On average, cats spend 2/3 of each day sleeping.

-OMG Facts


I've never wanted to be a cat more in my life than right now.


Photobucket

5 comments:

  1. I'm going to get one of those shirts in black and wear it for Halloween. I'm going as either a character from that television show V or some kind of alien freak. It will be even better because my baby is 2 and throws temper tantrums. People will be terrified!

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  2. Well, my weekend was pretty uneventful-mostly just chilling with the husband and pups. And eating Cake Balls (they're delightful!). Oh! And, we joined a church.

    I too have purple latex gloves! I lifted..eh hem, I mean BORROWED them from an old workplace first aid kit for my Willy Wonka (tim burton version) halloween costume a few years ago. And as someone who once lived in Texas and worked in a women's health clinic where I had to wear latex gloves occasionally-I do not recommend them-sweating in latex gloves is not pleasant.

    And, I do not ever...and I mean EVER, want to experience a bicycle seat naked. EVER.

    That Lady Gaga meatkini was totally stolen from America's Next Top Model circa 2008.

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  3. NARNIA.
    Dude.
    So.
    Pumped.

    My inner (usually outer) nerd is screaming to see this movie. <3

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  4. My weekend was ok. Went to see the Cincinnati fireworks, then paid 85 bucks to get my car towed back to my apartment yesterday because it wouldnt start. But it started in my driveway.
    Your brother is insane riding a bike in Cincinnati snow. Id be scared of the cars, for one, no one can seem to drive when the ground is dry so its a 1000x crazier when it snows. And thats like extreme biking..lol

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  5. The Tame One, please don't jump out at me on Halloween. I will fall over dead from shock. But please do take a picture and send it to me! (of your outfit, not of me dead)

    Lisa, THANK YOU for validating the fact that my brother is insane. I always thought that, but it's nice to hear others say that as well.

    Keep the weekend summaries coming!

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