Friday, September 10, 2010

All I Need A Hug And Some Marshmallows

Funkadelic Friday to you all! You've survived another week! Give yourselves a round of applause. You deserve it.


The weather today in Load, Kentucky is a sunny 76 degrees today. Hmmm.... I wonder if they drop any loads in Load, Kentucky. Yes I am a 12 year old boy on the inside. Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper during this Friday commute, so please use the restroom before you leave for work.


In the news, a homeless man calls 911 from his cellphone (yes, homeless people have cellphones too) demanding some dry towels, a hug and some hot chocolate with some marshmallows. Initially he stated to the 911 dispatcher he was "Sheriff of Washington County" only to later admit he just needed a hug and that hot chocolate.


Source: apnews


Hey, homeless people need hugs too. And tiny marshmallows for their hot chocolate.


In celebrity news, Hulk Hogan is out of the hospital, after injuring his back from collecting seashells. And you never knew collecting seashells could be so dangerous! Hulk Hogan is engaged to be married and upon his release he stated he wanted to move up the wedding, and that as soon as he gets home, he will have his fiancee do a little manscaping. Yes, MANSCAPING.



Source: TMZ


Hey, if I gotta endure the mental image, I'm going to make sure you do too. I'm very giving in that way. MANSCAPING on Hulk Hogan. *dry heave*


Just when you thought that the mentally ill didn't have their fair share of advocates, a new line of mentally ill stuffed animals has hit the market. You have your choice of the Severly Depressed Turtle, Dolly the Sheep with Multiple Personality Disorder, Hallucinating Snake, or the Crocodile with the irrational fear of water. Each stuffed animal comes with a personalized medical history and treatment plan.



Source: newsfeed.time.com via BuzzEdition


I don't know about you, but I'm getting ideas for Christmas gifts!!! Hey, I've got enough crazies in both sides of my family to justify buying those. And of course I'm including myself and my own treatment plan in there. It's just too bad they didn't have a hairless kitty stuffed animal with an irrational obsession of the color purple. Instead, I have to take pictures of my own hairless kitty peeking out from my purple house.



Here is a collection of toilet do's and don'ts from other countries. Just because.





Ok this one I can stand...er...sit behind completely. This is a rule in my household with my boys. You may mock me, but do you ladies with boys have little pee spots on or around your toilets? Cause I don't! That's right. I'm the man... er... woman.



No jumping off the toilet. Instead, sit on the toilet and you will become euphorically happy.




Do not take a crap two feet in front of the toilet. Please drop your load inside the toilet. Even while in Kentucky.



Source: huffingtonpost


Ok, this one was a little hard to decipher. But I think it's telling you that if you're a one-legged, shirtless lady, you may not squat and take a dump in your panties.


Hey, WTF??!!!


Classy Mom
see more Poorly Dressed


Speaking of panties... there are just some jeans we moms MUST GIVE UP when we have young kids. And that pair is one of them.


Well that's all the time I have for today. Have a completely better than average weekend, and I'll see you back here on Monday. In the meantime, go celebrate the Orthodox New Year by gorging yourselves on red M&M's. If you're Ethiopian, Melkam Addis Amet. (Happy New Year) OMG I'm so cultured sometimes it hurts.



-OMG Facts


Photobucket

5 comments:

  1. Things you just taught me:
    1. The sign designer in Croatia is extremely devoted to detail. Right down to the nipple.
    2. My thong underwear are mommy thongs and stay inside my mommy jeans making me Mother of the Year.
    3. I am a bleeding heart for the homeless. I want to buy the poor guy a case of Swiss Miss and personally deliver it to the man complete with a hug and a cell phone card refill.
    4. I am an alligator sheep person. Which means I eat and contradict myself. That sounds hideous and kind of naughty. I'll have one of my other personalities explain it later.

    Have a fantastic weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, where to begin today? I think I'll skip over the Hulkster and his competitive marrying scheme.

    Um, I want the Hippo with the crazy eyes please? Doesn't Germany have HIPAA laws. I can't imagine distributing private medical histories can be legal.

    Um, those pants, that thong...let me just say what my husband says "Crack kills"

    And lastly...I still don't like red M&Ms. I eat them first. Ok, yes, I eat my M&Ms in color order. Green is last cuz it's my favorite...and its the one that makes you...well, you know....as you like to say "rawr".

    Have a great weekend, G! Smooches!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Tame One, Awww too bad homeless hot tub man didn't have your phone number!

    I think my irrational fear of roaches qualifies me for the irrational fear crocodile. And the severely depressed turtle. Though they should make him into one of those dolls you can turn over and flip inside out to show his smiley face when he's in treatment.

    Christine, I can't believe those stuffed animals don't apply to the privacy laws... good point! Oooo and green is my favorite M&M too, unless I get the bag of custom colors, and then you know I get the purple ones.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love the hippo too! Why does he have a zipper on his mouth!? I may to order one of these for my psychologist sister :)

    I love how smarmy and proud the Saudia Arabian example is-the one getting it right-like, seeeee, this is how it's done!

    The homeless man makes me so sad. (I hope he really wasn't in the water for 10 hours). He just needed some love! And towels. Love and towels.

    Have a fantabulous weekend!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I need the crocodile afraid of water. I wont even take a bath because it freaks me out so much..lol
    If Ms. Mommy Thong's ass is hanging out like that what the hell does it look like when shes standing? Lol

    ReplyDelete