Monday, August 30, 2010

Not My Purse

Mystical Monday to you all! How was your weekend? Yes I want to hear how your weekend went. Go ahead. I'll wait.

The weather in Knob Lick, Missouri has a high of 79 degrees today with scattered thundershowers. Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper, but no matter how bored and tempted you are, do not lick your knob during your commute. That is, if you're driving stick. Unless your commute takes you through Knob Lick, Missouri and then you're practically mandated to do so.

In the news, a 70 year old yard sale shopper hit another shopper over the head with a cast iron pan to prevent him from getting a sale first.

Source: apnews

This, my friends, is how yard sales go in California. Not kidding. If you don't mark your prices down to a quarter, the person will either whack you, or flip you off, cursing you out as they drive away. Which is why you will never EVER catch me having a yard sale. I give all my stuff to charity or place in front of my house with a "free" sign.

You know the Emmy's were last night, right? I don't know what could've possessed Rita Wilson (Tom Hank's wife) to wear this monstrosity.

Source: TMZ

I'm all for sparkly things. Just not on that dress or pair of shoes. And speaking of... Anna Paquin's supposed to be part fairy, not part Roman Centurian. Whoever told her this was a good idea needs to disappear quietly. Where's the Jersey Shore guys when you need them?

Source: JustJared

On a totally different note, Sooooooookie dressed much more respectfully for a pre-Emmy party. And we finally got a close-up on her ring, which is a rough (uncut) diamond in antique platinum that was designed by Beeeeeeeeeel.

Source: JustJared

Very cool and original. If I wasn't so into sparkly things (AKA cut diamonds), I might like one for myself.

Back to the Emmy's, my personal top pick goes to Jane Lynch for her gorgeous purple dress. Because it's purple and Jane Lynch is awesome. I wonder if she's wearing comfortable shoes underneath.

Source: JustJared

I just had a thought. Do you think she's making a subtle statement about dressing in purple because she's a lesbian? Because I live in a purple house and like to wear comfortable shoes. What does that make me?

On Saturday, Paris Hilton was arrested in Vegas for having cocaine in her purse. She was in a car that was pulled over. Her excuse? It wasn't her purse.

Source: TMZ

Too bad she was the ONLY girl in the car. Perhaps the purse she was holding, belonged to one of the guys?? Hey that excuse worked for her in South Africa during the World Cup, then a few weeks later in France. Why wouldn't it work now?

Hey, WTF??!!!

wtf photos videos -  Clarice Was Such a Well-Mannered Child
see more WTF Pictures and WTF videos by Picture Is Unrelated

It's so sweet that little Eleanor carries a piece of her grandfather with her everywhere.

Remember when I showed you the Cami Secret? Where you can go from Mistress to Mormon in a matter of seconds by putting on a swatch of your granny's panties to cover your cleavage? Well now there is a hilarious parody of the Cami Secret commercial. Warning: It's full of profanity and NSFW. If that doesn't bother you, here it is...

And that's all the time I have for today. Have a good Monday and think of creative (or noncreative) ways to make this a memorable week. One more thing for you to remember...

A flea can jump 30,000 times without stopping.

They can also jump 50-100 times their own body height. Also, a flea's acceleration when jumping is 50 times that of a space shuttle taking off!

-OMG Facts



  1. Hey Ginger!

    My weekend was awesome. The weather in Vegas was in the 70's and we just relaxed.

    K, Rita Rita Rita. Wearing chandeliers on your body and feet is just plain unacceptable. #fail

    Why don't they just give Paris Hilton a drug test?? She'll probably say what's in her body isn't hers either...she was holding it for a friend. O.o

    Boobie Apron. Me and hubby watched this earlier. I LMAO!! I kinda sorta thought the cami was a good idea...I know I could have used it at some point but now that I realize it's just a c**k blocker...I'll not get it.

    Loved Jane's dress (purple people rule) but my favorite (for reals) was Nina Dobrev from The Vampire Diaries.



  2. My weekend was stellar. I ate at Chops and had delicious salmon and chop salad and Peroni beer so I was happy. It was also birthday cake weekend which is always good. (Not my birthday, that would be bad.)

    Oh Paris honey, you really do look just like mugshot Barbie. Sadly, I think Barbie is smarter than Paris, and she is plastic.

    The purple dress lady should have met up with the old chandelier dress lady and come up with a list of options that would work better for Ms. Crystal. Perhaps taking some clues from Sookie and her amazing ring.

    Whoa. Now I know what we're going to do with Miss almost 2's birthday pictures. Thank God Halloween decorations are out so I don't have to go all grave robber! Now, for a gothic dress in a 2T. This could take time.

    Thanks for the coffee read! Love it as always.

  3. Happy Monday! I had one of the odder weekends in a while in Dallas! It included new tattoos, hanging out with 2 strange Dutch men who joined my group of friends right at 2am and announced that we would take them out to afterhours bars and they would pay for the cab, a going away party followed by afterhours dance clubs, and a soccer tournament and then I got home to dinner w/ the husband and a cake he made for me b/c I've been craving cake. It was all in all a fantastic weekend, just a bit crazy!

    Awesome post this morning, so much to comment on!

    I so can't wait to become crazy old person who can act a fool at garage sales, amongst other places. I'm going to embrace it so very much!

    I love Suuuuuhkie's, eh hem, I mean Anna's ring--so interesting and pretty-I dig it. And, I so want to like her dress-I like the top part-I can't help it-but the satin hangs funkily.

    The parody ad for the Cami Secret is too funny--Titkerchief! Cleavage Apron! Bahahaha! High-larious!

  4. My weekend was pretty cool. and boring.
    not really cool.
    I worked at 5 AM on Sunday. WHO DOES THAT?! Why would they do that?

    My sister's a lesbian and she never wears purple.. so... =P

    But she does were cargo pants...

  5. All of you are telling me how your weekend went, and I LOVE IT!!

    Titkerchief is my favorite name for the Cami Secret too.

    Picksee... two tattoos? Where the picture??

    Meghanface, can you please inform your sister that by law, as a lesbian, she is supposed to love and wear the color purple? ;) Incidentally, the lesbian couple who lives across the street from us were the most shocked out of all the neighbors when we painted our house purple.

  6. My weekend was awesome cuz it was my birthday! Yay! My kiddos made me some wonderful pics and I got Lost Season 6 from them.

    As for Rita, I love her...but those are the fanciest stripper heels I have ever seen.

    And as for the new Cami ad...."funbag napkin"?? *gigglesnort*
    Well, that's all the time I have, but I'll see you tomorrow..same bat time, same bat channel. ;)

  7. I got two-but they are a pair--> one on each leg..

    They're my own personal mudflaps :)

  8. Picksee, those are freakin' awesome!!! I love your mudflaps!

  9. My weekend was rather lame. Went grocery shopping and spent way too much time with my husband. So glad he's at work now...time to call my "purple friends". Lol.
    I'm totally going to have to share the Boob Apron vid with some of my friends.
    How come Paris gets to do a full on pose for her mug shot? I want to see her go all Gary Busey next time!!!

  10. My weekend was sucky, had to help move the boyfriend, lost my car keys for two days and dropped my laptop on my toes so now four days later Im still limping, which is very unattractive by the way, and this is the first chance Ive had to check your blog, three days into the week :(. But the boob apron made me laugh so hard, it made up for the sucky weekend and last couple of

  11. Lisa, what a terrible weekend you had! Does it help that I missed your comments? Because I did! Glad you're back. I'm glad the titkerchief helped make up for your sucky weekend. Hope your toes get better!