Friday, July 9, 2010

I See Dead People

Good morning everyone. Welcome to this lovely Friday! Unless of course you live in Blunt, South Dakota, where it's a sunny 90 degrees today. Can I be blunt with you? Well, actually it's my blog so you can't stop me even if you wanted to. *wink* You know people (including myself) complain about the daily bumper to bumper traffic on the 405. I gotta say, I'd rather be in my car on the 405, waving to my fellow commuters, putting on my make-up, painting my nails, doing my taxes, than spending the day in Blunt, South Dakota. Unless there's a different reason why your city is named "Blunt". *wiggles eye brows*

In the news, a DA has decided that a Pennsylvania woman is allowed to keep the corpses of her twin and her husband if she installs a mausoleum or crypt on her property to keep them in. Apparently shortly after their deaths (which were ten years apart), the woman interred their bodies and had been keeping them preserved in her home until they were recently found by the authorities.

Oh hi, Ms. Stevens, I've brought you homemade cookies since I thought you must be lonely and... do you smell something?

Source: apnews

Jean Stevens's reason for keeping the corpses in her house... she wanted to be able to see them and talk to them, and she's claustrophobic and couldn't stand the thought of their bodies in caskets in the ground. Uh, Jean? I think there's a medication for that. *nodding enthusiastically*

Emmy nominations are out. And guess what? My fellow ginger Conan O'Brien got an emmy nom for his stint on The Tonight Show. You know who didn't get an emmy nomination? Jay Leno. #probablybecauseheisnotfunny


Jay, you hear that sound? That's the sound of karma biting you in the @ss. #TeamCoco

You know we had an earthquake on Wednesday evening here in Southern California, which really isn't much different from any other day here in Paradise. But for those of you who are thinking of building up your survival kits... now we have the Candwich! Perfect for surviving after a natural disaster. You see, it's a sandwich, IN A CAN!!! Give those makers a nobel prize!


I swear I did not make this up. And the beauty of these Candwiches is that they have a LONG shelf-life. I don't know about you, but when I'm hungry, nothing says satisfaction like a BBQ Chicken sandwich in a can that's been sitting on the shelf in my garage for years. Nom nom nom.

Hey, WTF?!!!!


It's okay honey. It happens to the best of us. Especially at the 4th of July party after your doctor switched you to a new medicine and the label said not to drink alcohol, but your friends at the party opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate the independence of this lovely country, and to turn them down would be unpatriotic, even though it had been years since you last had champagne but didn't remember why at the time, and after several hours of projectile vomiting the following morning, you remember EXACTLY why you do NOT drink champagne. *deep breath* Uh, yeah, so no judgment from me, chica.

And that's all the time I have for today. Have a fantastic weekend. Do a random act. Doesn't have to be kind, just random. Try not to miss me and I'll be back on Monday. But before I go, there's one last thing...

There's a spider in Brazil whose bites can cause an erection that lasts FOR HOURS.

-OMG Facts



  1. You can have your Canwiches ... we here in New England have Brown Bread ...

    Yep, that's right ... we have bread in a can that has no discernible "Sell By" date. Been raised on it all my life and I'm just fine ... #exceptforthestrangeglowmystomachproducesaftereating

  2. Does anyone else find it odd that crazy graverobber lady's sister and husband have the same last name? James, Jean and June?? Is there something other than body stealing going on here?

  3. Scaarlet, No I did NOT notice that James, Jean and June all have the same last name! O_o

  4. *sneaking back on your blog, one eye covered, looking for Bananas or hammocks* Shoo, okay, so the lady with the dead corpses really makes me sad. It's so messed up and creepy. #TeamCoco for life. I can't stand Jay Leno. Only good thing on his show is @HelloRoss.

  5. We should let a bunch of those spiders loose in a roomful of men just for the giggles.

    The lady saving her kin at home so she can look and talk to them is SUPER creepy. Serial Killer's have been known to do the same thing (The things you discover as a crim law major.)

    Glad your back.