Thursday, June 3, 2010

Nomore, not Wymore.

Top of the morning to you all. No, I'm not Irish, I just like saying that. The weather in Wymore, Nebraska is a sunny 83 degrees today. Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper so you have plenty of time to wonder wymore oil continues to flow into the gulf.

Never fear... James Cameron has joined the think tank on finding a solution to plug up the oil leak.


I wonder if he's going to suggest using Unobtanium from Pandora. Personally, I think they should get Desmond to borrow the plug from the island to stop the leak. But no one asked me. *shrugs* Hey, if it can keep the earthshaking lava from coming out, it can surely plug up the oil leak.

I get all my BP Gulf Oil news from Twitter. Specifically from @BPGlobalPR. If you're not following them, you should.

Some of their tweets:

We feel terrible about spilling oil in American waters, we'll make sure the next spill happens where the terrorists live. #bpcares

Just got 100k followers and our oil is headed to Florida. You know what this means... WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYWORLD! #bpcares

As part of our continued re-branding effort, we are now referring to the spill as "Shell Oil's Gulf Coast Disaster". #bpcares

The oil leak was caused by a natural gas explosion, or sea fart, which is now having silent but deadly consequences. #bpseafart

Due to public outcry, our "Spill Or Be Spilled" flash game will be taken off our BP Kidz Klub website. "Smack the Greasy Manatee" stays.

What a gorgeous day! The ocean is filled with the most beautiful rainbows! #yourewelcome #bpcares

Of course, bp cares about the fishing industry as well. Now, all tuna from the gulf coast comes pre-packaged in oil. #yourewelcome #yum

I'm phoning it in today and skipping celebrity news because there really isn't much I feel is worth making fun of. Mariah Carey might be pregnant, and Celine Dion is pregnant. Gwen Stefani is wearing loose shirts, so she might be pregnant. Eh, *shrugs* not really something that interests me. All I care about is that I'm not pregnant. *runs to find some wood to knock on*

So, Spank and I are getting together for Eclipse, and we've agreed to get matching tattoos. She's turned me down on all the suggestions thus far, but this time I think I have a winner.

Genius, isn't it? We can both walk around in short sleeve shirts, and go about our business while asking people to follow us. I'm thisclose to getting her to agree. I just need a few more shots of Patron. Or maybe chloroform.

Hey, WTF???

Funny Wedding Photos - TRUE LOVE

That's true love right there. Maybe she's attracted to the age spots on his face. They're like freckles, but bigger. Or maybe she likes the way he takes his dentures out before swapping cake pieces at the wedding.

Alright peeps, I'm out. Hopefully all the little celebrities will do crazy stupid things and I can talk about it tomorrow. But in the meantime, know this...

When polar bears are angry, they hiss like cats.

-OMG Facts


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1 comment:

  1. Once again You bring me laughter. You are brilliant and thank you for another post for me to love! :)