Thursday, May 20, 2010

Salted Nuts

Hey, you survived hump day! Congratulations!!! You're almost to the weekend. I'm growing fonder and fonder of Kentucky by the moment. The weather in Belcher, Kentucky is a partly cloudy 78 degrees today. Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper, so you might practice belching the alphabet. It's a skill. And yes I can do it. #talented


In the news, scientists are moving toward a new method of birth control by temporarily making men sterile through ultrasound. I'm guessing they have to put that cold gel on your nads and then ultrasound those babies.



Source: bbcnews


Ok, so which of you men are willing to step up and let them test it out on you? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?


In celebrity news, Nicolas Cage has decided he only eats animals whose sex lives he can respect. Birds and fish are "dignified" in their sexual pursuits, according to him, so he will eat them. Pigs, on the other hand... nope.


Source: popeater


This of course coming from the same man who recently had a pyramid built in a New Orleans cemetary for his future burial plot.



I on the other hand, choose to eat the animals based on how they taste. Pigs, Cows, Chickens... alright with me. Buffalo is ok, but a little on the dry side. Bear and moose are too gamey for my taste. Venison is lovely. Gator is good when it's fried. Snake tastes like chicken. Oh wait... there I go off on a tangent again.


In other news, I can't WAIT until Salt comes out. You know, the new Angelina Jolie movie. Except I think Angelina was busy when they decided to do the poster. And I'm pretty sure Bai Ling filled in for her.


Source: JustJared


Or maybe they morphed Bai Ling's face with Demi Moore's. *shrugs* All I know is, that ain't my Angelina.


In other celebrity news, Lindsay Lohan is expected to face jail time today by not completing the amount of alcohol education classes required by the deadline. But just a few days ago, Lindsay flew to Cannes and now can't return because her passport was lost or stolen.


Source: popeater


Poor Lindsay... can you believe her rotten luck? Yeah I don't either. Uh, Mr. Occifer... check in her purse for the passport. I have a feeling it might be there.


Hey, WTF!!!


Source: pictureisunrelated.com


I know parenting can make you want to dispose of your kids, but sir, there is no way that baby will go down that drain. You want to know how I know? Because a very wise man once told me...



Incidentally, that song by Mister Rogers is the reason my older sister was no longer afraid of the drain during bath times. #truestory


And that's all the time I have for today. Here's a little tidbit for you... If the person in your life is bothered by some of your behavior, start doing that behavior even more. A little agitation never hurt anyone. Hey I'm giving this stuff away for free, people. But know this...


The population of the state of California is more than the country of Canada.

-OMG Facts


I think that means we can take you Canada. Any time we choose. Best be nice to us Californians. We can call you New California. Yeah, that has a nice ring to it.


Photobucket

3 comments:

  1. You continue to make me laugh every day!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't remember ever hearing that song from Mr.Rogers, yet I remember being 3 yrs old and dreaming in cartoon about animals going down the drain - so maybe I have heard it.

    I saw a picture last week of Lindsay - posing for the press - she had skinned up knees...just so gross.

    I asked my husband if he'd do the ultrasound, and he said "sure if they find that it doesn't turn your balls black and make them fall off" So - we'll see.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey Ginger...you guys tried to take us once, remember? Didn't work out so well for y'all!

    Just enjoy being our underpants :)

    ReplyDelete