Friday, April 9, 2010

Bring Out Your Dead

TGIF everyone! Who still hasn't done their taxes? *pops a Xanax, staring at the Turbotax box* Moving on... The weather in Purgatory, Maine is a rainy 56 degrees today. Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper so you will be stuck in your own personal purgatory on your way to work. Quick! Someone hand me a glass half full.

In the news today, two ladies tried to pull a Weekend at Bernie's by trying to smuggle a corpse onto a flight in Britain. Yep, that's right. They put the 91 year old man's body in a wheelchair and covered his face with sunglasses in an attempt to get him on board. I'm not making this up.

Source: apnews

Oh no ma'am. He doesn't want anything to drink on the flight. He's just very sleepy. What smell?

In celebrity news, Jessica Simpson is featured on this month's issue of Marie Claire. Nothing special about that, except that this time Jessica Simpson is wearing NO makeup and there is NO retouching!

In other news, cover up, blusher, powder, lip gloss and mascara are no longer considered, "make-up".

This week in NYC Sean Connery attended the fashion show Dressed to Kilt with his wife and daughter.


Pretty emeralds. His wife reminds me of someone... can't quite put my finger on it. Who is it she reminds me of? *thinking*

Oh yes, of course! Heidi Montag! Heidi, this is you in forty five years. Cause with all that money you're making, you too can have beautiful emeralds to wear.

Hey, WTF?!


What the... that's not nearly enough cooling for a tower that size!

And that's all the time I have for today. Have a razzle dazzle weekend. Find someone who's been mean to you and do something nice for them. Then kick them when they're not looking. What? Kidding, of course! See you back here on Monday. Until then, consider this...

You're more likely to die on your way to buy a lottery ticket than you are to actually win the lottery.

-OMG Facts



  1. Wow.

    Sean Connery hasnt aged too well..that being said; isn't he like 112 now? The wife? o.O no. I dont understand the hollywood bunch of women that do that kind of "embalming" to themselves..honestly thats just wrong. Aging should be done gracefully; with acceptance. a little plastic surgery isnt outside the realm of propriety; especially in todays society; but these mummys are taking it a bit to far. *shaking head*

    Nice to see jessica looking "real". she's actually quite pretty without the makeup. Too bad no amount of digital retouching can give her more IQ points than the present the neighbor's dog left on my front lawn this morning.

    *snickers* oh Ginger; I did my taxes in February when I got my T4. so much easier. oh; and I just paid someone to do it.

    I'm not commenting on chubby underwear guy. Not. nope nope nope.

    and I always knew there was a reason I didnt play the lottery!

    Ginger; its not that I know you particularily well..I just have a secret.

    Men; take note of this.

    When a woman speaks; LISTEN and remember what she says. They seem to really like that!

    Who knew?


  2. Deep, apparently you are listening well! LOL I'm so happy for you that you already did your taxes. *pops another Xanax*

  3. That is sooo not his wife. Is it? Good lawrd!

  4. I'm afraid it is his wife wowie. Yep.

  5. JellybeanRainbow said...

    WTF moment no2: plastic cougar: