Monday, March 1, 2010

Supermassive Black Holes

It's Spank and Ginger in the morning. The weather in La Push, Washington is currently 50 degrees, but it feels like 108 degrees. Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper because there's a VW Rabbit stalled in the center lane.

Hey Spank, what's the happ?

Good morning, Ginger. Just wishing it was Friday.

Did you have a nice drunken, Mickey Mouse, tattoo-filled weekend?

I don't remember, G.

I kept up somewhat while reading your #drunktweets. Did you kick Tink's @ss?

No but I almost kicked a TSA dude's ass when he took my son's miniature Mickey snowglobe. Apparently, Disney snowglobes are the newest line of attack for terrorists.

Are you freakin' kidding me? Last time I was in O'town I brought back two little mini globes (one with a manatee and one with an alligator) and they had no trouble. Maybe they had a problem with Mickey.

Times have changed. Snowglobes are now considered a Code Red threat.

Maybe Mickey is on the government watch list. If not, he should be.

Let's move on before we're next. I have a trip to LA in June and would rather not be cavity searched.

Unless Jackson Rathbone takes a temporary job as an airport screener. Then I think you won't complain.

I would start flying A LOT and making sure I carry contraband on every flight.

Speaking of contraband... tomorrow is the day Mr. G will meet the 18 year old shapeshifter.

Are you going to bring Mr. G lunch to the office in a picnic basket while wearing your sexy pirate costume?

That's actually not a bad idea. I'll just leave the kids home alone and hang out at the studio. Actually it's not "cool" to get autographs or pictures of the people there. Mr. G won't even bring my big Jacob poster with him. You know the one.

*rolls my eyes HARD* Still having nightmares from that damn poster. Can we move on, please I am starting to have flashbacks.

Yeah and I'm still having nightmares of the R.Pattz poster hung on the ceiling above us that came falling off.

Yeah, that too. *grumbles* They don't make a Jasper poster, sadly.

I'm kind of surprised they don't.

Considering he IS the most important character in the series, I wholeheartedly agree.

Ok, we're definitely moving on now. Hey Spank, did you know black holes in space are bigger than they thought?

Source: bbc news

Sluts in space....

I'm just saying, if you happen to be in a rocket ship trying to get close to a supermassive black hole... you might want to rethink it.

I think big holes like rocket ships going in #ifyouknowwhatimean

O_o Nope, I have no idea what you're talking about. But let's talk about jello! I'm curious to know why this guy is asking Avril Lavigne to sign a picture of a huge mound of jello.


Probably because she has the intelligence level of Jello. #teamderyck

I think you may be right, Spank. Speaking of right... Have you seen the Apolo Ohno ads for Gap (Red)?

No, I have not.

Ok now this picture I get. I think it's cool, shows his sport and supports Product (Red).

Spank is anti-snark when it comes to promoting a great cause like Product (Red) *raises the volume on my Product (Red) iPod*

Agreed. I'm a huge promoter of Product (Red) myself. But this one... this one has me scratching my head.

I need to know how old he is before I make a comment.

He's over 18.

*eyes the ad, nodding* Yeah, I got an itch that needs scratching but it's not my head.

Why is he naked when he's promoting Product (Red) for The Gap? Is this like cross promotion with PETA? I'll wear nothing unless it's Product (Red)?

Works for me. *looks at the ad again, grinning*

Hey Spank, how would you like a bag of ass?


As long as it's not gassy, I'm game.

I'm wondering if Richard Gere could use this.

... and Rod Stewart.

Hey, look at the time! I think it's time for us to skedaddle before we get a nice little note from the lawyers of the two aforementioned people. Before we go, we leave you to ponder this:

Can you cry under water?


  1. I have no idea why the kid is naked hmm. Apparently they took their clothes off in Australia today as well. Did you know its the First of March ladies and you say white rabbit before coffee and its St Davids Day apparently but even that didn't get a mention on our news this morning. Something is a foot.
    Goes back to stare at naked guy......

  2. Andrea, it's all about priorities here. Naked speed skaters trump holidays and month changes here at The Spank and Ginger Show. ;)

  3. Agreeing with Spank about the Jello. And my question is...why is there a spoon, fork and knife on the bag o'ass?

  4. Aw, man, that bag of ass is actually just a bunch of plastic spoons. Does that qualify as false advertising?

  5. WHAT I don't... I can't... Taycob AND Mr. G??!? *falls over dead*

    They don't have posters of Jasper because he is NOT one of the "Sexy Stars of Twilight." Don't pretend you saw him in that magazine. He didn't even rank with Justin Chon.

  6. OMGoodness!!!

    *points above*

    SPANK!!! I'll have you know that for once it is not I that is ragging upon the Jacksper!!!!