Monday, February 15, 2010

Bigger is Better

It's Spank and Ginger in the morning. The weather in Atlanta, GA is currently 31 degrees with light snow flurries creating a veritable panic in the streets as Southerners rush to the market to stock their fall-out shelters. Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper because Atlantan's cannot drive with any precipitation.

It's snowing in Georgia? Isn't that unusual?

Yes, it is and, therefore, if you want a loaf of bread you better have a bread machine.

That's just insane.

*thinks of Ginger building an ark during the rainstorm of Los Angeles* Yeah, completely.

Hey, I almost needed it! Another inch or so of rain and I would've loaded up the animals. Speaking of animals, did you have a nice Valentine's Day?

I didn't kill cupid, so it must not have been all bad.

Did you get to eat any Valentine's Day candy?

*grumbles* No, Ginger. I have to be bikini ready in 2 weeks.

Last I saw you, you were ALREADY bikini ready! You doing a photoshoot?

*shakes my head* No photographic evidence is allowed.

*looks at you like you're weird* Then WHY do you care about being "bikini ready" if no photos are allowed?

I'm a chick, Ginger. Really? You're looking for logic here? *shakes my head, muttering* Why?

*still looking at you like you're weird* Did you just say something?


Well I had some Valentine's Day candy. I'm sure you're happy for me. You know what Mr. Ginger and I did last night?

*seething with jealous rage* I hope you enjoyed it, Ginger. *bites into my rice cake, bitterly* Tell me, what did you and Mr. G do last night?

We watched "Tyrannosaurus Sex" on the Discovery Channel.


Nothing like good prehistoric porn to get the juices flowing.

Yeah cause I've always wanted to know how big dinosaur peen is.

How big is it?


Lucky dinosauresses.

Maybe not. Sounds painful to me. Speaking of painful, in one of the world's dumbest PR blunders, director Kevin Smith was kicked off a Southwest flight for being too fat.

Source: popeater

Wait?! Where was Jay? Silent Bob should NOT be trying to talk his way through anything. That's what JAY is for! Plus Jay is WAY easy on the eyes. I'd let him sit next to me on a plane. #milehighclub

Well, apparently Southwest wasn't considering the fact that he has over a million and a half followers and that he'd let all his followers on Twitter know what happened. My favorite of his tweets: "So, @SouthwestAir, go f--- yourself. I broke no regulation, offered no "safety risk" (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?)."

The power of the tweet. But he should have used a hashtag or two, it would have been more effective.

Agreed. #hashtagsmakeeverythingmoreeffective #youcansaysomuchwithuseofasimplehashtag


#imupforthat Speaking of hashtags, did you read the Robert Pattinson Details Interview?


Oh I did not realize that Rob Pattinson had an article and photoshoot in Details magazine. *rolls my eyes*

Uh huh. *rolling eyes* I didn't really read it (phoning it in again) but I did happen to see this quote from him: "I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic to vagina." What the hell does that even mean?

What it means is that Rob threw out a random verbal bomb, that means absolutely nothing, so all the fangirls can get their vagina laden panties in a wad because Rob SAID SOMETHING.

I don't know. Maybe it's true. I think he's socially awkward which makes him more endearing to some. I know someone who isn't allergic to vagina....


Why Klutz climbed a tree at a Van Nuys park to read, is beyond me. He had his dogs with him.

Ginger, he's a method actor. Vampires love being in trees. And he's pretending to read because he wants to impress Rain.

That makes perfect sense. I'll bet it worked too. Since we're on a Twilight roll, I figured we could use some eye candy today:

I took that photo. He was running toward me. Notice the tongue. *wiggles eyebrows*

Ginger, I didn't know you went to Pamplona, Spain to run with the bulls.

You're killing me Spank. Do I make fun of Jackson Rathbone? Do I? Huh huh HUH?

*gives you an incredulous look* Do you REALLY want me to answer that, here? *looks around at all the readers watching us*

*stops making eye contact* Oh hey, look at the time! That's all the time we have for today folks, but we leave you with this parting thought...

How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?


  1. Gingers eye candy made my day #taylorlautnerisyummy

    I agree, #youguysshoulddefinitelydoanentirepostinhastag.

  2. #hashtagsrule #Imisshashtagging #nolongeronTwitter #letsmakehashtaggingcoolonFacebook #prettyplease

  3. @Gwen #ihashtagwhentalking #talkreallyfastwithoutpausing #hashtagFTW

  4. @Spank

    oh...and @jaymewes just downloaded tweetcaster for his droid. And started watching #Lostseason2. See; @Spank? he'll *cough* with you on a plane! you can both fit into @thatKevinSmith's extra seat!! #bikinisareoptional #sawMewesPeeninZackandMiri #closedmyeyesandsqueakedlikeachild #notbecauseiwasjealous #okaymaybealittle #justcuzhehasabsthough

    *nibbles on a rice cake; glaring at Ginger bitterly as well*

    Tyrannosaurus Sex? ummm.....really? should I go there?

    A: YES. #formspringme

    Ok; I must confess that I'm gonna pull a Ginger and comment on this article without reading it either...yes; I'm phoning it in. #proudtobeaslacker

    But really? is valentines day the ideal time for a man...ANY man; no matter how dinosaur-like he may THINK he's be watching Dinosaur Peen on TV? Can you say performance anxiety? *sheesh* it's not like the pressure isnt already on full blast to erm..well BLAST??

    sure; maybe I have a @viewaskew'ed world perspective; but that doesnt mean I need to see peen at least twice the size of mine right before I want to #getiton with my lady love?