Tuesday, February 2, 2010

LOST and Found

It's Spank and Ginger in the morning. The weather in Sydney, Australia is 75 degrees with a 50% chance of precipitation. If you're flying today please fasten your seatbelt and give my best to Benjamin Linus when you land on The Island. Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper so just chill out and blast some classic Driveshaft on your car stereo.

Hey Spank, you know what today is, right?

Yes because this evening I have a hawt date with Benjamin Linus. He's taking me back to the future.

I thought Michael J. Fox did that.

Technically it was McFly but I'm not here to split hairs.

Well today's event is so big that even mainstream news media are reporting on it.

Source: theonion.com

Is my weekly over-analysis of LOST anywhere close to being as irritating as my dissertation of Eclipse, Chapter 13? *shakes head no*

Who cares? This is our show. We do what we want.

This IS our show. So I think our readers want to know WHY Jasper should have a movie made about his life and why his story is the most compelling of the series. It bugs me how LOST people are about this. Always "Edward this" and "Edward that". I mean can I please throw Edward down the hatch, Ginger? Can I?

Yes, Spank you can. I'll even open the hatch for you. Make Edward push the button every 108 minutes.

*snickers* Oh, so I guess then you think Bella should be down there as well?

Sure, throw her down too!

Okay but if Edward's down there pushing Bella's button who's going to watch the countdown ticker? Ahh... I know. Alice! *kicks her down the hatch, slaps my hands* Okay, back to you Ginger.

Brilliant Spank. Now in order to map out the events of LOST, I decided to pull up a couple of old cast photos and make my own little additions.

Ahh but if Boone didn't die Rain wouldn't have her Damon. Also, he went from being dead to undead. I think that's a good thing, no?

Yeah that's a good thing. I'm just happy that Shannon died. Was it wrong of me to cheer?

It's never wrong to cheer.

I love you Spank. Moving on... here's another cast photo I dug up:

Did you like the little hats I put on them?

*presses play on my iPod to listen to Driveshaft* I am not ashamed to say that Spank shed many tears when Charlie died. But... is he dead, or just LOST?

*eyes wide with hope* Do you know something I don't know, Spank?

*smiles mischievously* I may be able to see the future. But of course it may be the past or an alternate universe. In fact, it may not even exist. Or just be one of the levels of purgatory. Or.. if you REALLY think about it. It might just be a TV Show. *thinks about this for a minute* No, that idea is just crazy. *shakes my head, laughing*

Yeah, that is just crazy. Here's another cast photo I dug up in the hatch.

Oh damn. Daniel Faraday. He isn't dead though because his mother was pregnant with him when she killed him. See? The circle of life. It's a beautiful thing.

That would be sweet if he was still alive. I'm just glad Juliet was blown to bits. Yet another one I cheered for. No more of that constant worried look that I wanted to smack off her face.

She apparently went to the Ashley Greene School of Bad Acting.

I concur. And here, of course is the last promo... The Lost Supper.

I have thoroughly analyzed this photo and the secret meaning behind it. I have confirmed that Sayid is Judas. But how can they suggest that John Locke is Jesus when clearly it is either Richard or Jacob running the show. Maybe even Charles Whitmore. But... if they are saying that Locke SAVES the island then, yes... that must be what this means. There's SO much to analyze here. Is there a class at Harvard I can take... or teach?

*brain hurting from your analysis* All I know, is if they kill Hurley off, I'm going to cut a b*tch.

Hurley will never die. He is well protected. #lotsolard

We can only hope. Moving on, I came across a a picture capturing a private moment.

Hmm. I bet Ben is whispering the secrets to the island right there. Just look at how Locke is trying to act all natural like. I need to send this to my body language expert for further analysis.

I don't know. Ben seems to be giving off the Kevin Spacey vibe. It might have nothing to do with island secrets and more to do with his big wheel.

He has been on the island for a very long time, Ginger. A man has.... needs.

Yes, and speaking of manly needs, Locke has been spending more time alone between seasons doing what he does best.

Source: pictureisunrelated.com

Someone needs to put him on Locke-down (Badum Bum)

I bet it's cold enough there to freeze the brass balls off a bald man.

Hey, who wants some eye candy?

Ooh! Yay! A picture of Sawyer!!!! *waits with anti---ci---p---a---tion*

Well hold your horses, this first one is for the men...

Uhhh, I think the women may appreciate that there too, Ginger.

Speak for yourself, Spank. Oh, I guess you just did.

*rolls my eyes hard* NOW can I see Sawyer?

As you wish.

Oh... my... *takes a deep breath, feeling all swoony* .. look at him all wet and stubbly... and his ... *eyes shift to the corner right of my screen* What the...? GINGER! What the BAM is Nathan Fillion doing here?

Nathan Fillion was on LOST.

For what? A minute? Where's Charlie? Jacob? Richard? Where's the damn SMOKE?! All of which are more significant than Nathan "feed the birds" Fillion.

Gasp... more significant than Nathan Fillion? That's a slippery slope you're on, my friend. And Charlie's dead... and Richard should be.

Charlie is not confirmed dead. He may just be LOST. And while Richard should be in an emo band with all his black eyeliner.... dead, my friend, he shall never be. #richardisforever

Well he didn't fit in my photo collage.

He would have if Mr. Birdman wasn't in there.

And that's all the time we have for today. Enjoy your time watching LOST. If any of you east coasters plan on tweeting details of LOST before the west coasters see it, I will end you. (just a friendly reminder) And instead of a quote, today we leave you with a song:

Source: YouTube


  1. Yay it's FINALLY Lost Day :) (and I PROMISE i will NOT tweet spoilers on Tuesday)..... but... once Wednesday, All bets are off. and as for the "Ellie was pregnant with Danny when she killed him" theory OMG I never thought of that!! *smacks forehead* damn

    oh btw I miss Charlie :( *sniff*

    you guys make me smile as always :)

  2. *DIES laffin* LOVED this, classic! I just happen to LOVE Juliet though so don't agree with you there on bad acting so there :p lol

    I think this HAS to be reposted on the lost-forum.com I am a mod of..can I plese borrow this on there? Pretty please with Benjamin Linus..oh wait or was it Sawyer on top?

  3. @FyreStorme - See, you need to be thinking about LOST more, my friend. #conspiracytheoriesrulemylife

    I miss Charlie too. *deep sigh*

    @Maryann -- Hale yeah you can repost. And I'll take Sawyer on top with Ben on the side. #ilovelinus #notthepeanut

  4. aww, you don't like Juliet??

    All I know is that they better start answering questions PRONTO, and Charlie better resurrect from the dead and join the final season :)

  5. Janet M. aka luvmydautrFebruary 2, 2010 at 10:40 AM

    I miss Charlie too. He was my favorite, I hope he show up somewhere. Love Sawyer, I thought he was good with Juliet. I never liked him with Kate, she should be with Jack. Nice inserted picture of Nathan Fillion, that was a nice surprise. Him and Kate were cute in a cop married to a killer sorta way. I love Hurley, so sweet. Any way I am going to miss the show tonight because I will be in Reno for my trade show. It will be on DVR when I get home. Love the Spank & Ginger show!!!

  6. *shaking head*

    never seen Lost. dont understand what the fuss is about.

    I think I'm lost.


  7. DEEP! Dude! You hurt me right here *clutching my iNatural chest* How can you be so LOST?! I command you to take your Crazy Canuck ass up to Blockbuster and rent seasons 1-5 and lock yourself in the penalty box until you're all caught up!

  8. *shaking head*
    I'm sorry Spanky. I dont do well with doing what I'm told. Ask @reelhot2touch. *smirks*

    its not that I dont WANT to...i just never found the appeal?

  9. not to say I dont see the appeal in your iNatural Chest. *winks*

    did you get the Spankberry fixed? um when you do let me know ok? my DeepBerry has the same problem.

  10. I was LOST in bliss at this post. (which I read post-Lost - a girl's gotta have priorities)

    So THAT'S Nathan Fill..whatever! I just call him the Firefly guy.

    And I want to throw in another vote for the Spank iNatural pic. Let me add an alternate way to get these much-coveted pics to your viewers - it's called a digital camera. It only takes pics, maybe video, no phone, no internet. You may want to look into that, again, only for your mouth-foaming viewers who are clearly jonesin' for your magically deliciousness.

  11. @Heather - if I take a photo of my iNatural boobage with my digital camera I have to take the picture, download it to my computer and upload it here. With my Spankberry - were it to work, I just take the pic and BAM (said the lady) it's global, baby. I just don't know if I have the TIME to deal with that extra step. But I do love our audience so perhaps... maybe...

    @Deep - I will take one for the Berry Team and venture off into the great wide open to find a place that can fix my Spankberry and will then share these secrets with you. And as for Reel, she's an angel as it is but I think she just got a new pair of wings. ;)