Friday, February 12, 2010

Bicycle Nuts

It's Spank and Ginger in the morning. The weather in Monterrey, Mexico is currently 46 degrees and cloudy, perfect weather for starting a vampire war. Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper so see if you can get a ride from Jasper on his horse.

How are you doing this fine morning, Spank?

I am great, Ginger. Tell me, how did you have a good time celebrating Taylor Lautner's 18th birthday?

Oh yes I did have a good time celebrating the end of his jailbate period. I finally let shirtless Pocket Jacob out of his package.

What do you intend to do with Pocket Jacob that required waiting until he was legal?



What are you doing with your Pocket Jasper when no one else is around?


*nodding* Hey Spank, did you know researchers have detected two signals, possibly indicating the presence of particles of dark matter?

Source: bbc news

Particles of dark matter? Sounds like dirt to me.

I was just thinking that. I've got particles of dark matter in my backyard. Come to think of it, a couple years ago my kids had particles of dark matter in their diapers. But it wasn't nearly that pretty.

Those were the dark ages.

Indeed they were, Spank. Speaking of... I'd like to add another mother to our #motheroftheyear list. Courtney Love. Apparently a judge just extended the restraining order her daughter has against her.


I don't even know if I can find humor in the sadness that is Frances Bean's life. And she looks so much like her father it makes me want to curl up in my flannel shirt and cry.

All I can say is it's pretty impressive to lose custody of your SEVENTEEN year old daughter. That has got to take hard work.

She is a train wreck.

I would concur, Spank. Speaking of love, check out these new pics of Orlando Bloom.

Source: JustJared

He's channeling Harry Potter.

He just needs the glasses. Seriously if he doesn't resemble a pirate or an elf, he does nothing for me.

Well, a pirate.

What, you got something against pointy eared elves with long blond hair?

So what if I do.

No reason. Just curious. Don't get your knickers in a bunch.

I'm not wearing any knickers, Ginger. *grins*

You're not wearing any pants??! Uh.... uh.... Hey it's been a while since we had eye candy. Any requests?

Jackson Rathbone, please.

That's the WRONG ANSWER. Maybe you'll be right next time. Today's eye candy is Katie Price.

Source: dlisted

Hmmm... are we supposed to see the edges of the implants?

This kind of eye candy can cause nauseousness.

What, you don't think the freckles under her spray-on tan just above her implants is sexy?

No, I prefer a natural... um.... tan.

Me too, Spank. But without the tan.

As if this wasn't WTF enough we bring you this:


He's definitely got balls to do this in public.

I think brown shoes look better with nude.

But the white matches the little bit of hair he has. On his head.

I wonder if he has... nevermind. I don't want to know.

That's gotta be painful, don't you think? Unless he's using a banana seat.

His banana is on the seat, Ginger.

Whoa! Hey! Thanks for that visual. Speaking of bananas, that's all the time we have today, folks. Have a cautiously fun weekend. Don't do anything we would do. Before we go, we leave you with this parting thought:

If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?

1 comment:

  1. WHAT THE *bleep* IS THIS????

    I go away for a couple weeks and NO COMMENTS??

    Dear Spank and Ginger Show:

    My most heartfelt apologies for being on "sabbatical".

    *flexing fingers; getting my party Rats and nipple clamps at the ready*

    #didIsaynippleclamps? *whoops*

    *whips out pocket Alice for a distraction*

    Look! She's not wearing a shirt either!!


    Orlando Bloom? ummm....oh oh oh He's the guy that played Leg O' Lamb in them thar Ring Movies; Right? *yarrr* and Pirates? *pfffft* that was no Pirate. #drankalltherumlastnight #theboatisstillswayingthough #shootimonland #whobroughtthePatron??

    Courtney Love is a true Train Wreck. If you ask me and I know that you meant to but didnt...

    well at the risk of getting @Spank's flannel knickers snapped at my head; the wrong half of that relationship kissed the barrel. #thatisall

    I got nothing to Comment on Katie Price. I have NO IDEA who she is; and found myself staring at her implants a little longer than I should have. #yesImaMan. #noIcanthelpit #whatsyourexcuse?