Thursday, February 11, 2010

Candied Nuts

It's Spank and Ginger in the morning. The weather in Philadelphia, PA, is 30 degrees with snow. Baseball season is almost upon us, so show support for the hometown team and make an ice sculpture of the Phillie Phanatic. Traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper with snow so unless you have a plow you may as well just stay home and watch reruns of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Good morning sunshine!

Good morning ice princess. *wink*

How am I an ice princess? I don't like any cold, wet thing.

Don't knock it until you've tried it.

O.o Speaking of cold, wet things, I just came across this article saying that kids with a sweet tooth might have depression.

Source: bbc news

*slowly sets down my oreo cookie and lowers the sound on my iPod currently playing Creep by Radiohead*

That article is so depressing. I'm just glad my parents didn't read this article when I was growing up. They would've had me institutionalized.

My parents would have been relieved that the cause of my depression was not my family issues but my love of Devil's Food Cake.

Speaking of Devils, did you hear about John Mayer's Playboy interview?

No, I did not, but does he wax?

obviously not. *shudders* Well apparently he was asked, "Do black women throw themselves at you?" And he replied: "I don't think I open myself to it. My d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a f*ckin' David Duke c*ck. I'm going to start dating separately from my d*ck."

I'd like to see his c*ck get a public lynching.

I'd like to see it on a burning cross. Of course he went on to share about his past girlfriends, including Jessica Simpson.

He said this about her, "And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just f*cking snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*ck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep f*cking you.'"

It's nice to see such a sensitive artistic soul showing respect for women.

Yeah he's class-AY. You know what I think is really going on with him?

He stuffs his jockeys?

that too. Actually I was thinking he probably has a big sweet tooth.

Perhaps. And he stuffs his jockeys.

WITH CANDY!!! Speaking of stuffing jockeys, did you know Ewan McGregor and his wife have been married for 15 years? So romantic.

Source: dlisted

He's a jedi knight in shining armor blue jeans.

Yeah there's just one problem though. That chick is not his wife.


That's a 26 year old actress he just finished shooting a movie with in France.

Ooh la la-loser.

I wonder if his wife has seen that picture yet.

I wonder if he's seen his divorce papers yet.

I'm guessing he will. Not every wife is as forgiving as Tiger's is.

Forgive him, she will not.

The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.

Maybe they should move to Australia.

Why, Spank?

Sunny skies and you can see the future.

Once again, the wisdom is strong with you.

Is that wisdom? I thought it was gas.

Your gas or mine?

You use an iPhone app for gas, Ging. My hot air is the real deal, Holyfield.

*sigh* Yes my iFart Mobile is only imitation. Like Mr. Pibb is to Dr. Pepper. Speaking of alien zombies, Katie Holmes had an interesting choice of wardrobe.


She looks so happy.

I'm not sure her "religion" allows happiness until she's reached a higher level.

She's married to a man that needs lifts to kiss her. I think she's has reached her plateau.

Agreed. I wonder if she got that coat at the Scientology Gift Shop. Is it a coat? Is it a dress? Maybe it's both?

It's the modern day burka.

Speaking of.. how about a WTF moment?


How come his balls aren't blue?

Probably because they're made of stone. Is it weird that I recognize the jewels as being from Michaelangelo's David?

You mean Robalangelo.

Yes, Robalangelo, the 2.0 version of the David sculpture.

And friends once again we have reached our limit and must leave you now. But we would never leave you without something truly meaningful to mull over, like this:

Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

ATTENTION LOST JUNKIES: Want a fun way to dissect the series as it winds to a close? Look no further than our dear friend Heather's hilarious blog LOST in Stick Figures.


  1. Katie Cruz looks like a zombie #thtisall

    I always knew cookie monster was, well sculpted.

    I LOVE Ewan McGgregor and John Mayer can go dig himself a hole and drop in it.

  2. Glad I'm grown up not to face deppression and alcohol problem by having a sweet tooth.

    What in the world is John Mayer on? Yeah, I forgot. They're celebrities. They do crazy stuff just to get the most of attention.

    Jessica Simpson is hot but she's a freak.

    I think I'm in a flirting mode now after I just saw that picture of a lady with Ewan McGregor.

    Katie Cruz looks like a spooky black ghost.

    Somebody jacked the Cookie monster!

  3. So what does it say that I'm chowing down sweetarts as I'm reading this???

    John Mayer is such an ass. I don't know what people ever saw in him. And I honestly don't care for his music either.

    Poor Katie. I feel bad for my former fellow Ohioan. Yes, you married your dream dude, but is it all worth it???

  4. Damnit - I wanted to be Ewan's whore! I always miss out on the decent married men that want to have affairs!

    JSYK - I need to bleach my eye-balls from that John Mayer pic. Thank you John Gayer!

    I <3 you two so much! Thanks for the shoutout!

  5. Heather we love you too! Sorry for throwing that JM pic on ya. We just had to show him as the @ss we think he is.

    And Ewan doesn't know what he's missing by not choosing you as his "other woman".