Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Downward Facing Ferrets

The part of Spank will be played by Sandi because Spank is busy applying for American Idol. Hey Sandi, how are you today?

*Donning my, "Hey Jasper, wanna neck," shirt* I'm doing well. Glad I could be here to try and fill Spank's chucks.

I'm glad you could be here too, Sandi. Do you think Spank has a chance at making it to the second round?

I have to be honest, I think Spank could be the next American Idol.

Yeah I don't think so either.

She gave up on the idea of actually SINGING a 100 Monkeys song, right?

I sure hope so.
ANYWAY, I'm sure the weather is bleak somewhere... we can't possibly know since Spank isn't here to tell us, but I'm guessing the traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper. Moving on...
They say that sharing a bed negatively affects men's brains....

Source: bbc news

Men will find an excuse to blame women for anything these days. As if it's our fault that they can't keep their hands, and their thoughts, to themselves.

EXACTLY. File this under "not our problem."
So did you hear about the stolen ferrets in Mexico Sandi?

Source: LA Times

What a tragedy! I mean, those ferrets may have escaped and spent their lives in such an unnatural situation. Like, say, outside! By the way, Ginger, have you ever smelled a ferret? There's a reason they live outside.

I have not smelled a ferret Sandi. What do they smell like?

Like something that should be outside!

I think the even bigger issue is.. why did one veterinarian order 150 ferrets? What was he going to do with them?

Clearly breed them and retire on his ferret millions.

*ponders whether I can make money from ordering 150 ferrets from Mexico*

*shaking head* Don't go there, Ginger. I know what you're thinking. And, I hear the hedgehog black market is the way to go.

I think you're right. *pondering whether I can make money from ordering 150 hedgehogs from Mexico*

I want in on that venture.

*whispers* you're in. Hey Sandi, did you happen to see this?

Source: tmz.com

It's funny you should mention that story. I did happen to see it. And, by see it, I do not mean spent an inordinate amount of time gawking at it. Because plastic surgery is bad. Very bad. *shaking head no*
It does surprise me, however, that Spencer Pratt and his creepy flesh colored beard didn't find a way to needle into that photo op.

Good point. Maybe he was the one taking the picture so he could sell it to the tabloids. I couldn't help notice the way her iFakes were hanging, or should I say WEREN'T hanging. To set up a little control, I hung over in approximately the same position over my computer so I could do a little side by side comparison.

I did not just spend an inordinate amount of time gawking at that either. *nodding yes*

And which one is better, pray tell?

I better go look at them again. I'll be back in a couple of hours.

I figured as much. Hey Sandi, I found the perfect guy to accompany us to Eclipse Weekend 2010.

Source: pictureisunrelated.com

He gives new meaning to the term body shot. Is that white powder on him salt? He could be a good guy to have around. I don't suppose we can just say he's our friend the limey.

Hmmmm... he could serve multiple outlets.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

That I'm out of Patron?

That lime accompanies Dos Equis as well as Patron.

Does anyone have some salsa?

Will guacamole do?

Even better!

While Sandi and I figure out how to get the limes off of limey dude, that's all the time we have for today. Before we go, we'll leave you with this thought:

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?


** A special thank you to SweetLikeSandi for filling in for Spank. I'm sure she'll be back tomorrow. Unless she makes it to the second round. Yeah, she'll be back tomorrow.


  1. Hi Sandi! *waves* Wow - Spank is going up in front of Simon? That should be interesting. My money is on Spank. Lurve you girls!

  2. On that thought: I say eat the damn cake! its yours isn't it? hell, the queen of France said it, before she was beheaded...

    Anywho,I feel bad for plastic Heidi, and nice boobage Ginger! Inatural trumps IHeidi #thatisall

    That lime guy should TOTALLY be the official spokesman for shots. He can just walk around and you pick which lime you want...perfect.

  3. Great fill-in, Sandi! iHeidi definitely looks...unmoving to say the least.

  4. Spanktastic fill-in Sandi!

    I propose a daily inatural boob shot, as now I'll be jonesin for some Ginga cleavy!

  5. I am very glad that Ginger is willing to do what it takes for us ladies with the boobage... iNatural is the way to go!!! Here that Heidi???

  6. Ginger and Sandi are right. Men will make an excuse for how come come they're losing their thinking (smartness). I just hope in the future (if I get a girl) I don't become one of those men.

    Heidi Montag will try anything to keep her name in the news. And her boobs look fake.

    I wonder how that guy was able to attach all of the green apples on him. He either clear-taped it or glued it. Otherwise, OUCH!!!

  7. @Heather - oh it's on now bitch. You think you want iGingy cleavage? The Spank will bring the iNatural. Consider yourself warned! ;)

    @Sandi - Bravo! *looks behind my back for the ax* I better up my game. xoxo

  8. @Spank Hush it. You know your chucks are too big for me.

    No, seriously. Like a size too big.

  9. Sooooo....Spank's gonna put HER iNatural cleeeeavage on here too??

    *sitting back and nibbling popcorn hoping this nippular proliferation continues on to iWaxed*

    huh to Lime-guy. I really got no comment for him. *shrugs* may he be happy and prosperous in his endeavours.

    Heidi; put your Boobs away. O.o I'm thinking that she's gonna dump the Pratt soon and try to finagle her way into the wrinkles of the Hefner soon. Am I the only one that's noticed an uncanny resemblance to most of his last 17 girlfriends?

    @Ginger ~ I love you. and your boobs. which is still weird. not cuz they're not nice but...well nevermind.

    @Sandi ~ *golf clap* you did a wonderful job.


    I have #nocomment on the stupidity of my gender. I'm sure thats because I'd like to live with iNatural Balls attached. *nodding*

  10. What this blog is REALLY missing is a side by side by side comparison of Ginger, Sandi AND Spank's boobage. Yes. Definitely what this blog needs. I would offer up my own for comparison but after nursing for 8 years straight (4 babies before anyone gets their panties in a wad thinking I nursed an 8yo) the picture would start here______________________________

    And end here_______________________________.

  11. LMAO Gwen!!!!! I'm up for it. Girls? Thanks for all the compliments to my iNatural boobage!